To my children
As I was preparing for my father’s funeral, I realized that I did not know much about him. I knew he had pretty interesting life. I was going to ask him to record his story so that I could write about it one day. I never put this idea into an action. And it was too late.
What was he thinking when he left for Manchuria at the age of 15. How did he feel when he had to retreat with his company when he was so close to his family during the Korean War? Why did he bother to come to America when he did not know much English and he did not even like the American food? All of these questions were buried with him underground.
Once I questioned why people bother to write about their lives. I was young and thoughtless. Now, I want to write my story for the next generations before it is too late. Since they are not good at Korean, I need to translate it in English.
At age 60, I have already lost some memories. My memories of some of the events are probably inaccurate or untrue. I hope I can write my story while my siblings and relatives are still around. They can help me correct and revise them.
Memory is like a time travel. We can make money and lose it anytime. But we can only do the time travel thru the memory lanes while we still have them.
A while ago, my computer at work was acting up. I almost lost all my works for last several years. Now I have a back-up USB. I make copy of my work every day. Even if I lose all my files on my computer, I can bring them all back from the USB. Writing a story of one’s past is like keeping back-up files in USB.
A couple of years ago, I worked on 20th year book for the church. Most organizations make memorabilia year book for 20th or 25th anniversary. I reviewed old church weeklies. I found some familiar names among them. This booklet will mean a lot to those who shared the common memories.
I wonder how nice it would be if we can make 25th, 50th, 75th year books for ourselves. There are things you can write in twenties, while there are things you cannot write until you become 40 and 50. Old man cannot write a story with young heart.
As my memories allow, I would like to write honestly. I would like to acknowledge my mistakes. I want to write about my regrets and remorse. I want it to be a story of forgiveness and reconciliation. Most of all, I want those left behind me can open and see me when they miss me after I am gone.