To my children
Sometimes we encounter hard times. A business gets slow, you lose the long-waiting promotion to your friend, your relationship faces a challenge, and sudden illness comes. We think they suddenly show up one day. But in reality, they were crawling to us slowly. In some cases, we knew they were coming. We just did not want to accept it.
When these things happen, we tend to find the cause from the outside. We blame others. We do not want to admit it was I who caused it all?
It is hard to changes others. Sometimes it is impossible to change them. Once you decide to change yourself, things can easily turn around.
High blood pressure, diabetes, and cancer do not happen overnight. They come slowly over times. Once we recover from these illness, we need to remove the cause. Often the cause is our environment and eating habits. If you do not change them, the illness will return. I have seen people successfully beat the cancer succumb to it later. They never removed themselves from the cause of their illness.
Our relationship is no exception. If your loved one left you or your friends turned their back on you, the cause could be you. Your action might have caused it. If you do not find out the root of the problem and remove it, you will have the same results with the others.
A crisis could be an opportunity. You would have lived the same life style if you did not have the crisis while the world was slowly turning away from you. One day you would have lost them all. A small crisis is a wake-up call. It is an opportunity for you to change and correct the course.
I was working for State Fund. I had been a supervisor for ten years and they did not want to promote me to a manager. I was frustrated and thinking about leaving the job. One day I ran into a co-worker who transferred to home office. I shared my disappointment and frustration with him. He gave me very honest advice. He told me that I was too critical at work. It was a wake-up call for me.
I started from the bottom as an office assistant and moved up the ladder rather quickly. Within 5 years, I made the supervisor. I looked down on the supervisors who had been on the same job for 10-20 years. I did not like what they presented at the annual conference for supervisors. I often argued withthe presenters and gave them the opposing opinions. I knew I had made mistakes.
I had to work hard to change my image. Around that time, workers’ compensation law was changed. There was an opportunity for me to participate in the reform committee. We had to review, analyze the new law, and train the clams staff. Instead of criticizing what others have done, I listened and cooperated. I made pretty good impression to the upper management.
In few years, they promoted me to the claims manager. It was a very costly lesson. I had to change myself to overcome the crisis. Do you feel you are facing a hard time? Look at yourself. You might have the answer in you.