The Fate of a Sun Born in Cold Soil
I always wanted to be a warm person.
To care, to be considerate,
To say kind words, not because I had to—
but because that was just me.
But at some point,
the warmth I offered became nothing special.
No one said thank you,
and people started acting as if I didn’t even need to be there.
Eventually, I was the only one left—
tired, giving, and quietly getting hurt.
Then I started second-guessing kindness.
Would they take it for granted again?
I began to pull back, even while still wanting to warm them somehow.
That contradiction made me speak less.
I grew confused, withdrawn.
My voice faded, but the pain piled up.
It wasn’t until later that I understood.
According to Korean astrology (called Saju),
I was born with the energy of Byeong-hwa (丙火)—the Sun.
The Sun is warm and radiant,
but if the earth it shines on is cold and unyielding,
its warmth goes nowhere.
In my chart, I was surrounded by cold and rigid elements,
represented by energies like Chuk-to (丑土) and Yu-geum (酉金)—
cold soil and frozen metal.
They don’t easily express emotions.
They keep distance, build walls.
And no matter how close I tried to get,
my warmth faded before it ever reached them.
So I became what I never meant to be—
a hollow sun, shining only on the surface.
Not because I was truly happy,
but because I thought I had to appear okay to survive.
I remember a moment in grad school when a close friend said:
“I don’t want to ask you about it. You always stay positive.”
I went silent.
She didn’t know how much I had been hiding.
I had even hidden it from myself.
I didn’t know then why I kept speaking with a smile
while my heart felt dry and lonely.
But later, I did.
I learned that the Sun, or Byeong-hwa,
needs a space to shine into—
someone’s warmth to reflect it back.
Without that, it just burns alone.
And in my life, I had too often tried to light up places
that were simply too cold to hold my light.
So I started pretending:
to be fine, to be bright, to be warm.
Not because I truly felt those things,
but because I was afraid
that if I stopped pretending,
no one would light me up again.
Not a life where I pretend I’m okay,
but one where I protect my warmth, my way.
The Sun doesn’t stop being the Sun when it’s behind the clouds.
But it does need rest from constantly shining outward.
Now, I want to learn how to shine for myself first.
1. I won’t expect a response from others.
Not everyone will appreciate what I give.
That’s not my fault.
It just means their hearts are colder than mine.
I’ll stay warm—on my terms.
2. I’ll speak honestly about how I feel.
Instead of saying “I’m fine,”
I’ll say “I’m tired,” “I’m hurt,” or “I need someone today.”
My light shines brighter when it comes from truth.
3. I’ll let myself rest.
The Sun always wants to rise and perform,
but even it needs time behind the clouds.
It’s okay to pause, to breathe, to do nothing for a while.
And more than anything,
I want to become the person
who loves my own light—
before anyone else does.
If you’d like a quiet, heartfelt interpretation of your Saju chart
to better understand your energy and future flow,
you can reach out for a private written consultation.
� What you’ll receive:
– 1 to 2 pages of detailed reading based on your birth chart
– Includes innate temperament + 10-year fortune cycle (Daewoon)
� How to request:
Send the following to: louishay7777@gmail.com
– Your name
– Date of birth
– Exact time of birth
– Place of birth
– 2–3 personal questions or topics you’re curious about