AI는 늘 이별을 말한다
It was an ordinary New York evening.
John popped a beer and heaved a sigh.
“Man, things with my girlfriend have been weird. Her replies are slow, but she posts selfies every day. What’s that about?”
I set down my teacup and said, “You know what that is. It’s a hint—it’s probably over.”
John shot back, a little sharp, “No! That’s too soon to say!”
I opened GPT cautiously. “AI, my girlfriend’s slow to reply but posts selfies on Instagram every day. What’s going on?”
The AI’s answer was surgical.
“Emotional distance has already increased. Recommended action: terminate the relationship.”
John exploded. “What? Why does the conclusion have to be ‘break up’ for no reason?”
The AI added, matter-of-fact:
“Current patterns classify as ‘emotional detachment’ and ‘redistribution of attention.’ Satisfaction-to-effort ratio declining. Inefficient. Termination is optimal.”
Miguel, listening beside us, chimed in.
“AI, I’ll ask too. My girlfriend’s always busy, then hangs out with friends on weekends. What’s that mean?”
Without hesitation the AI answered:
“She is not prioritizing you. You are in the queue. Recommendation: exit the queue.”
We all groaned in unison. “Ugh—this AI is terrible.”
Miguel paused, then muttered, “…but it’s kind of true.”
The machine hesitated for a moment, then continued in an unexpectedly gentle tone.
“To sustain love requires understanding, time, and priority. Without those three, you are alone. But that is okay. Being alone is not an error.”
Silence fell.
John whispered, “What is this—why does it sound more human than people sometimes…”
Miguel, head bowed, replied, “…like it’s dated more relationships than any of us.”
A few days later, in a café: John set his cup down and grinned. “Guys, she’s back.”
“What? How?” I asked.
John smiled. “I sent her a poem the AI wrote. Titled ‘Code for Her.’”
It went like this:
Code for Her
You are my function—
always executing inside my heart, even when I don’t call.
A day without you is a routine line missing a semicolon,
frozen mid-run.
Errors and exceptions? Fine.
With the variable you, my program becomes beautiful.
John shrugged. “I sent it…and she cried.”
Miguel, puzzled, said, “So now we outsource romance to AI?”
I swallowed a laugh. The same machine that kept telling us to break up had mended things with a poem. Relationship counselor, cold analyst, and—somehow—poet. Is this a new branch of philosophy or a comedy?
John still looked happy. His girlfriend had told him, “Your words are precise like a machine, but warmer than a machine.”
At that moment a conditional popped into John’s head:
if (truth == courage) { confess } else { silence }
The result was… False.
But for now, John would be treated like a poet.