雨水 [32] / [35]
"I know you're sleeping with her, don't deny it. I don't care, but don't insult my intelligence!"
He said in a raised voice, slamming his fist down on the table.
"John, listen, you've had enough to drink. We're leaving,"
responded Alexander, taking him by the arm. But John pulled his arm back.
"See, you didn't deny it, did you? Just tell me!"
"Hey, look―”
“Don’t think that I had no clue about your feelings for her, even up until the very moment of our marriage. Don’t think you ever succeeded in hiding your emotions from me.”
John said aggressively. It was the first time Alexander heard this kind of remark by John. They had never talked to each other about how they felt. He thought John didn’t know Alexander gave up these emotions when he found out John loved her. How long had John been aware of this? Had Cynthia known too?
Shortly after becoming acquainted with Cynthia, even during his turbulent relationship with Violet, he felt a yearning for her that he would never admit to; even to himself. Hence, Alexander felt as if he committed a crime, though he was unclear on the specific offense. He just exercised his right to remain silent.
"No, no, it's alright,”
he laughed, but in a kind of manic way.
"It's fine, I'm fine. I'm just messing around. It's none of my business. Hey!"
John yelled to the bartender,
"Get us another round of drinks!”
A huge, muscular bartender with a grumpy expression brought them a bottle of whiskey this time in an offhand manner. Alexander wanted to leave, but he also didn’t want to end his time with John in this tense way. He spoke firmly in a soft voice to John.
“OK, just calm down. Don’t lost control, or I will just leave. Understand?”
“Fine,”
John answered rather roughly, and unsealed the bottle.
As John seemed quite subdued after a few glasses, Alexander began to speak.
“I didn’t know about Cynthia’s troubles at all, I must emphasize that one more time,”
he tried to pretend to already forget what John said.
“You don’t need to explain whatever happened between the two of you. I know that I don’t have any right to interfere.”
“What do you mean that you cheated on Cynthia?”
“I did, just like I said,” he answered flatly,
“I couldn’t endure Cynthia anymore back then,” he continued.