雨水 [34] / [35]
Both of them were silent for a few moments and. John took his glass up and emptied it. As he grabbed the bottle and refilled it, Alexander asked,
"Do you still think about Cynthia?"
"No," he responded,
"I mean, I don't know. I guess just seeing you staying with her brought a lot of old stuff up from the past that's just been buried in my head for the past few years. Don't mind me."
He added, as he took another swig of liquor,
"This is old shit, not new shit. So, don't mind me."
Putting one arm around John, and heaving him to his feet, he led him away from the bar, to the entrance, and out onto the street. It was no sooner they stepped outside than John ran into the adjacent alleyway and vomited up everything he had been drinking. Alexander slapped his back, and, helping him get back up, they both staggered back into the street. Alexander hailed a taxi, and put John, who kept insisting on eating curry, into the taxi. He slowly walked away alone.
It was early spring and not that cold of a night. He was also pretty drunk, but at least he didn't walk aimlessly. He was glad to be alone. This candid evening with John was totally unexpected. He just couldn't reject him in front of Cynthia. Perhaps it was because Alexander felt sorry for John about his staying with Cynthia.
Nonsense, he thought to himself. What should I feel bad about? Ignoring for the moment that nothing happened between he and Cynthia, why would it be any concern of John's? That was the thought that stood out prominently in his mind. Although it wasn't apparent at the time, there would, in the future, be a time when all of this would be settled . . . But that time had passed, and new ideas had to be considered.
He was thinking of what John said. He'd never known about all those happenings between them and that was none of his business. According to what John said, it was obvious that Cynthia had not loved him even at the moment of their marriage. He remembered her face, bright with happiness, as she walked down the aisle on her wedding day. If she had not loved John, what on earth was she expressing? He was confused. He always thought that the nature of a woman's heart was beyond his grasp.
He decided to leave Cynthia's place. Once John brought up the fact of their staying together, there was no way he could feel comfortable at her place. He made up his mind before knocking on the door. It was almost midnight.