feel entitled to boss younger people ..
This is a very rich question, and you’re basically asking:
“Why do some older Koreans (60+) feel entitled to boss younger people around just because they’re older—no matter the younger person’s status or reputation—and how can we understand that through Christianity, Judaism, Confucianism, and psychology?”
If we start with Confucianism, a lot of this behavior makes immediate sense.
Traditional Korean culture (조선 시대 이후) was deeply shaped by Confucian hierarchy:
나이 많은 사람(장유)이 → 위
나이 적은 사람(유소)이 → 아래
Basic rule:
the younger are expected to yield, obey, and show deference;
the older are expected to guide, correct, and lead.
So for many Koreans over 60:
“I am older” = “I have the right to: give instructions, correct your behavior, evaluate your manners, and expect compliance.”
This is not necessarily about salary, degrees, titles, etc. 연장자 → 자동 상위 포지션 in the relational order.
Important: In classical Confucian thought, age doesn’t just grant power; it imposes moral obligation:
The elder should be: benevolent (인), self-restrained (예), a moral role model (군자), caring and responsible toward the younger.
So when an older Korean orders younger people around without regard for the younger person’s dignity or context, that’s actually:
Confucian “form” without Confucian “virtue.”
They are keeping the hierarchical shell (나는 윗사람) but not the ethical content (나는 먼저 배운 사람으로서 책임이 있다).
In practice, it often becomes:
“I’m older; therefore, I can talk down to you, and you shouldn’t talk back.”
Now, look at this from a Christian perspective.
The Bible does emphasize:
“Honor your father and mother”
Respect for elders, pastors, older believers
But it also says things like:
“Whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant.”
“In Christ… there is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female…” (status is relativized)
Leaders should be shepherds, not “lording it over” others.
So healthy Christian eldership = more responsibility and service, not more entitlement.
Some older Korean Christians may absorb Confucian seniority + church authority language and unconsciously blend them:
“I am older + I have believed longer + God has put me here → Younger people must listen.”
They may use Christian language:
“You should respect your elders.”
“You should be humble, you’re young.”
But functionally it can become:
“Because I’m older, I don’t need to listen to you. Only you need to submit to me.”
From a Christian standpoint, that’s actually a failure of discipleship:
forgetting Jesus’ model of washing the disciples’ feet,
forgetting that power is for service, not ego.
So:
Christian theology does not justify bossing younger people around simply due to age.
But older believers may misuse snippets of “honor your elders” to justify culturally inherited hierarchy.
In Judaism, there is strong emphasis on honoring elders:
Elders and teachers deserve kavod (honor).
Standing up before the aged, respecting their life experience.
But classical Jewish sources also say:
“Who is wise? One who learns from every person.”
Debating and questioning rabbis is normal and even encouraged.
Moral authority is tied to Torah and character, not just age.
In many traditional Jewish settings:
An elder is respected because they have studied, lived faithfully, and endured hardship.
But younger people also engage them intellectually, challenge them, and ask questions.
So if a 60+ person says:
“I’m older, therefore I can humiliate or command you regardless of your dignity”
a Jewish ethical lens would push back:
Age is a reason to show respect, yes,
but it is not a blank check for arrogance, verbal abuse, or dismissiveness.
Age grants honor, but not moral infallibility.
Now, psychologically, what’s going on with older people who insist on ordering younger people around, regardless of the younger’s status or achievements?
There are several common mechanisms (not for everyone, but often):
People in their 60s+ often face:
Retirement or reduced work role
Health decline
In the digital/technological world, they don’t fully grasp
Younger people who: speak better English, adapt faster, and have more formal education.
Subjectively, it can feel like:
“The world I know is disappearing.
The skills that used to give me status don’t matter anymore.
My opinions are not central. I feel invisible.”
One of the easiest remaining axes of power is:
“At least I am older than you.
You must show me respect.”
So ordering younger people around can be a way to:
reclaim a sense of control,
avoid feeling irrelevant or powerless,
reassure themselves: “I still matter. I’m still above someone.”
Many older Koreans grew up:
in rigidly hierarchical families and schools,
perhaps in poverty or war/post-war hardship,
where: adults shouted, kids obeyed, teachers humiliated students publicly, and survival often meant conforming and not questioning elders.
So there’s a script in the nervous system:
When you’re young → you endure being ordered around. When you’re old → now it’s your turn to order others.
If this internal script is never examined, they repeat what they suffered, now from the top.
When an older person feels:
inferior in education,
inferior in income,
inferior in language,
inferior in global mobility…
Yet culturally, they were taught that elders must be respected no matter what, one coping mechanism is:
“If I let go of this age-based superiority,
then I will have nothing left to stand on.”
So they may:
belittle younger people,
dismiss their accomplishments,
insist on obedience on trivial matters (“Sit here, do this, don’t do that”).
Psychologically, this functions like a narcissistic band-aid over deep insecurity:
“If I keep you in a ‘child’ role, I don’t have to face my own feelings of being small, lost, or left behind.”
Let’s stitch this into a single picture.
Provides the cultural template: “Older = higher, younger = lower.”
Elders should be benevolent, but that part is often forgotten.
What remains is formal hierarchy without ethical responsibility.
At its best: calls older believers to serve, not dominate;to be models of humility.
At its worst (distorted): older believers use age + faith as spiritual justification for controlling behavior.
Values elders & teachers,but insists wisdom can come from anyone, and moral authority depends on character.
Would question the idea that age alone licenses rude or domineering treatment.
Explains the inner engine: fear of loss of status and relevance, internalized hierarchies from childhood, unprocessed insecurity and pride, attempt to regain control by asserting “at least I’m older.”
You didn’t ask for coping strategies, but given your previous questions, I’ll add a short, practical layer.
When you meet an older Korean who behaves like this, you can internally translate their behavior as:
“This person is using age to regulate their fear, insecurity, and need for control.
It’s not really about my worth; it’s about their anxiety.”
From there, you have options:
Minimal compliance + inner distance
(follow small instructions when it costs you little, but don’t internalize their judgment)
Calm boundary-setting
(“I respect your age, but I’m not comfortable being spoken to like that.”—only when it’s safe)
Emotional detachment
(see them as a product of their time, not as a final authority on your value)
Seek intergenerational relationships with healthier elders
(people who embody wisdom and humility)