2. One Week of Cultivation
For English readers
This piece has been published before. If you have already read it, please feel free to skip it. As “My Five Years of Cultivation in the U.S.” is likely to continue, I am now compiling these writings into a Brunch Book, and I appreciate your understanding.
① How did I end up going to the U.S.?
In truth, I had undergone two procedures for a herniated disc.
Laser treatment at twenty-two, radiofrequency treatment at thirty-eight.
When I was younger, my body recovered quickly, so I didn’t think much of it.
But as I grew older and began considering going to the Seonbang(禪房, meditation hall), fear crept in.
“Will I really be able to sit still?”
“If I shift or make noise, won’t I disturb the other monastics in their practice?”
I had to pack muscle relaxants and painkillers just to go to the Seonbang.
When I sat there medicated, I couldn’t tell whether I was holding a huatou or holding up my lower back.
So I started searching online for how to sit properly.
That’s when I came across the full lotus posture on a blog.
Left foot on the right thigh, then the right foot on the left thigh.
It felt completely unnatural and uncomfortable, but I tried it anyway.
After thirty or forty minutes, my legs would go numb and cramp up, and I’d have to release the posture. Still, I kept trying.
One day, a sunim I was practicing with at the Seonbang sent me a web flyer.
It was for a one-week cultivation program at the International Seon Center in Seoul.
The title was something like “Three Days of FoQi, Three Days of ChanQi, led by Master YongHua".
“Master YongHua?? Wait… I’ve heard that name before.”
“Ah! Wasn’t Master YongHua the teacher of that blogger who wrote about the full lotus posture?”
I had long admired two Great Masters—Venerable Xu Yun and Venerable Hsuan Hua.
Whenever I came across the terms FoQi or ChanQi in their Dharma talks, I always wondered what these actually were, and wished I could experience them myself.
And on top of that, Master YongHua is a disciple of Great Master Hsuan Hua.
There was really no reason not to go.
Still, somewhere deep down, there lingered a slightly detached attitude—
“Let’s just hear what a foreign monk has to say.”
During my first retreat at the Seonbang—struggling fiercely, wrestling with my own back.(To be continued)