A Single Man

싱글맨

Waking up begins with saying am and now.

For the past eight months waking up has actually hurt. The cold realization that I am still here slowly sets in.

I was never terribly fond of waking up.

I was never one to jump out of bed and greet the day with a smile like Jim was.

I used to want to punch him sometimes in the morning he was so happy.

I always used to tell him that only fools greet the day with a smile, that only fools could possibly escape the simple truth that now isn't simply now: it's a cold reminder. One day later than yesterday, one year later than last year and that sooner or later it will come.

He used to laugh at me and then give me a kiss on the cheek.

It takes time in the morning for me to become George, time to adjust to what is expected of George and how he is to behave.

By the time I have dressed and put the final layer of polish on the now slightly stiff but quite perfect George I know fully what part I'm supposed to play.

Looking in the mirror staring back at me isn't so much a face as the expression of a predicament.

Just get through the goddamn day.

A bit melodramatic I guess.

But then again my heart has been broken.

I feel as If I am sinking, drowning, can’t breathe.

For the first time in my life I can't see my future. Every day goes by in a haze, but today I have decided will be different.

톰 포드의 감각적인 연출이 돋보이는 작품으로 그의 심미안으로 짙게 발린 모든 장면들의 구성이 특별하다. 배우들의 눈빛으로 새어 나오는 세심한 감정선들이 화면에 집중되고 그 기분이 살갗으로 와닿는다. 삶에 불쑥 들어온 사람은 때론 어쩌지 못하며 갑작스러운 이별로부터 해방되려는 계획에도 순간의 변수들에 의해 방해받는다. 영화의 마지막 순간을 안타까웠다고 말할 수 있을까. 모르겠다.

영화가 끝나도 조지의 독백을 계속 읊조리게 된다.