rip

2022년 10월 30일

its a rough day for everyone.

I was there in itaewon last night (I was safe and physically ok)

i was at the bar end of that street until 11pm and left to go to hbc.

when we came out it was very busy but everything seemed pretty normal.

We arrived hbc, somebody said someone died in itaewon. i was right there few minutes ago. i didnt belived it.

Around 1am, people started text me checking im ok.

All my friends know i live in itaewon and thats the street i normaly go out. the number they're saying was insane. couldnt belive it at all. didnt make any sense. i thought its another itaewon rumor, fake news.

i didnt look any Social media, just checked official news, at the moment, news confimed 2 people died. i was still thinking its drunk or car accident or something.

i wasnt super drunk but i drank quite a lot, i texted my ex cuz i got upset he didnt check on me while everybody messaging me (we had some episode few days ago, he didnt contact me since)

he was like 'i just found out too' and asked few questions about it then 'i am middle of something lets talk tomorrow'

i said "i dont freaking care shits going on in itaewon, why you keep asking about that accident? im talking about us! "

then i came home. i passed all the scenes and walked that 3alley street because main road was blocked. it was all done at that time. it was pretty quite.

i still didnt know what really happend and couldnt process it.

when i got home/today, i checked the news and feeling like shit about what ive said. i feel like im a pscychopath.

This area is my home and my community. I keep thinking i was like "i dont care! Who gives a shit about that! I am more important"

I didnt say it but thats what it sounded like.

I feel guilty, still talking about my feeling over the real issues.

my heart so heavy.

Just wanted talk, i am so sorry if i put more heavy on you.

If you were there or involved any of this, so sorry. cant imagin, cant say enough.