Where is your hometown?
Introduce your hometown briefly.
Today’s Topic
Where is your hometown? Introduce your hometown briefly.
<내가 쓴 글>
I was born in the middle of Seoul. My parents moved away to Seoul from the north Korea during the war. Most refugees at that time started their life newly in Seoul or in Pusan. My father did it in Seoul. We, even our parents couldn't go their real hometown located in north Korea after the war, so we have regarded Seoul as our hometown. Seoul grows so fast. When I was young, my father brought us to the subway construction site to let us, my elder brother and my younger brother, see how it went. However I couldn't imagine at all how the train could run under the ground. My father also took us to take escalator that was established for the first time in our country. How wonderful it was to move without walking. It was an automatic staircase! There was no subway, escalator, cellular phone, etc at my childhood. My hometown, Seoul has grown so fast. I like Seoul so much. But I had to leave Seoul with my children because my husband moved to the factory located in rural area to get a promotion at work. I miss Seoul, my hometown.
<첨삭되어 온 글>
I was born in the middle of Seoul. My parents moved away(X) to Seoul from the(X) north (North) Korea during the war. Most refugees at that time started their life newly (new lives either) in Seoul or in Pusan. My father did it in Seoul. We, even our parents (Neither my siblings nor our parents) couldn't go (to) their real hometown located in north (North) Korea after the war, so we have(X) regarded Seoul as our hometown.
Seoul grows (has grown) so fast. When I was young, my father brought us to the subway construction site to let us, (X) (me,) my elder brother(,) and my younger brother, see how it went. However(,) I couldn't imagine at all how the train could run under the ground. My father also took us to take (an) escalator that was established for the first time in our country. How wonderful it was to move without walking. It was an automatic staircase! There was no subway, escalator, cellular phone, etc(.,) at (in) my childhood. My hometown, Seoul has grown so fast.
I like Seoul so much. But (much, but) I had to leave Seoul with my children because my husband moved to the (a) factory located in (a) rural area to get a promotion at work. I miss Seoul, my hometown.
<내가 기억해야 할 것들>
I was born in the middle of Seoul. My parents moved away(X) to Seoul from the(X) north (North) Korea during the war.
1. moved away에서 away가 필요 없구나. 그냥 moved만 쓰면 되는 거였어. My parents moved to Seoul from North Korea during the war.
2. the north Korea 가 아니라 North Korea 구나. the 가 필요 없음을 기억하자. 대문자로 쓴다는 것도.
Most refugees at that time started their life newly (new lives either) in Seoul or in Pusan.
3. 아하. 새 생활을 시작했다는... started life newly 가 아니라 started new lives 그냥 new lives를 쓰면 되는 거였어. 게다가 서울과 부산이라고 하려면 미리 either in Seoul or in Pusan 이렇게 써줘야 함을 기억하자. 그냥 or만 쓰는 게 아니라 either... or... 를 쓰자고.
My father did it in Seoul. We, even our parents (Neither my siblings nor our parents) couldn't go (to) their real hometown located in north (North) Korea after the war, so we have(X) regarded Seoul as our hometown.
4. 아. 이런 때 neither... nor... 를 쓰는 거구나. 그렇지. 우리 가족도 부모님도 갈 수 없었다니까 이때 바로 neither... nor 가 가능한 거야. 아하. Neither my siblings nor our parents couldn't go to their real hometown...
5. 아까 했지. 북한은 대문자로 북만 써주면 된다는 거.... located in North Korea after the war...
6. 서울을 고향으로 여겼다. 이건 그냥 과거면 되는구나. 그때부터 지금까지 그렇게 여기고 있으니까 난 완료형을 썼는데. 그냥 그렇다면 그런 줄 알고 외우자. 하하.... so we regarded Seoul as our hometown.
Seoul grows (has grown) so fast.
7. 앗, 여기선 성장했다고 완료형이네. 아하 그러니까 6번의 경우 그때 그렇게 여겼다니까 과거로 쓰고 이 성장은 계속 진행되는 거니까 완료형을 쓰는 거구나. 그 느낌을 정확히 알도록 하자. Seoul has grown so fast.
When I was young, my father brought us to the subway construction site to let us, (X) (me,) my elder brother(,) and my younger brother, see how it went.
8. 우리들, 즉 오빠 남동생.. 그렇게 쓰는 용법을 잘 알아두자. let me, my elder brother, and my younger brother, see how it went.
However(,) I couldn't imagine at all how the train could run under the ground.
9. However 다음에 콤마!
My father also took us to take (an) escalator that was established for the first time in our country.
10. 에스컬레이터 앞에 관사 붙일 것! an escalator
How wonderful it was to move without walking. It was an automatic staircase! There was no subway, escalator, cellular phone, etc(.,) at (in) my childhood.
11. etc... 다음에 마침표와 쉼표를 찍어줘야 하는구나 뒤에 말을 더 쓰려면.... cellular phone, etc., in my childhood.
12. at my childhood 가 아니라 in my childhood... 꼭 기억하자.
My hometown, Seoul has grown so fast. I like Seoul so much. But (much, but) I had to leave Seoul with my children because my husband moved to the (a) factory located in (a) rural area to get a promotion at work. I miss Seoul, my hometown.
13. but을 새 문장으로 쓰는 게 아니라 앞 문장에 이어 쓰면서 콤마만 써줄 것. I like Seoul so much, but I had to leave Seoul...
14. the factory 가 아니라 a factory
15. 지방에 있다는 것... located in rural area 가 아니라 관사를 꼭 써줘야 한다. located in a rural area to get a promotion at work.
<첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글>
I was born in the middle of Seoul. My parents moved to Seoul from North Korea during the war. Most refugees at that time started their new lives either in Seoul or in Pusan. My father did it in Seoul. Neither my siblings nor our parents couldn't go to their real hometown located in North Korea after the war, so we regarded Seoul as our hometown.
Seoul has grown so fast. When I was young, my father brought us to the subway construction site to let me, my elder brother, and my younger brother, see how it went. However, I couldn't imagine at all how the train could run under the ground. My father also took us to take an escalator that was established for the first time in our country. How wonderful it was to move without walking. It was an automatic staircase! There was no subway, escalator, cellular phone, etc., in my childhood. My hometown, Seoul has grown so fast.
I like Seoul so much, but I had to leave Seoul with my children because my husband moved to a factory located in a rural area to get a promotion at work. I miss Seoul, my hometown.
<그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트>
This is such an awesome entry! We are grateful for your enthusiastic attempt to complete this step. There were some lapses committed, but you were able to successfully deliver your ideas in English. You were able to write some good sentences, so we suggest considering the corrections well. We would like to read more of your entries, so keep writing! :)
네. 고쳐주신 것 잘 익히고 계속 쓰겠습니다. 하하
(사진: 꽃 뜰)