Waking from hibernation

VI 驚蟄 [1] / [20]

It was around dawn when he got up unconsciously. He was too thirsty not to get up. He walked toward the kitchen for a drink of water.

Cynthia was at the kitchen table in the dim light. She was drinking some whiskey. Judging by her eyes, she looked quite drunk already, but it was hard to tell otherwise. At the sight of her, Alexander's drowsiness ran away completely.

"What are you doing at this time? Are you drinking?"

"I am,"

she answered with a thick tongue. She drank down another glass. It was a smaller glass, but he could smell the strong alcohol, which already filled the space.

So, what John said was true? She has not overcome the alcohol after all? He tried to think of her image in the office during those times they worked together. He couldn't find any clue of her alcoholism. She was an energetic, analytic, resolute investigator.

But their work pattern was shift type, one day on and two days off. So he couldn't be sure what her home life was like. Has it been like this for awhile?

"You shouldn't drink so much. Look, I know you're in pain―"

"Don't pretend you don't know about this. John already told you, didn't he? That I am a damn alcoholic."

He didn't know what to say. He thought his existence here stirred Cynthia. He could only answer with this.

"I will leave right away. I should not have stayed here. So don't be irritated. I'm leaving."

He'd meant it. He didn't want to make Cynthia agonized by his presence. He moved towards his room to collect his things.

"Are you avoiding me again?"

she asked. He stopped.

"Are you avoiding me again?"

She repeated. He slowly looked back at her face. She was staring at him straightforwardly.

"In every single situation, you always avoid conflict. Avoid everything. Even in the moments when you loved me. And when I needed you. You'd never confronted them. Never. You're a coward."

"What do you mean by a coward? I'm not―"

"You just let me go to John. You loved me. But you let go of me."