Another chapter closed
When will our roads cross?
Can you break down completely for someone? Even if it means you have to build yourself up from scratch?
How can something that's supposed to make you feel so complete end up leaving you so empty? —perhaps the greatest irony in life i stumble upon quite so often.
These incidents embarked a train of thought:
A few things to focus on
1. avoid avoidance and people thereof
2. promote positivity and people thereof
3. love by all means— your life, and little things that sparkle
I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough
to make every moment holy.
I am too tiny in this world, and not tiny enough
just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.
I want my own will, and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action;
and in those quiet, sometimes hardly moving times,
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.
I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
and I want my grasp of things to be
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
On a side note, let me share an extra tip on living life to the fullest (foolest). Take an example of my lovely floormate. In a bid to deal with your unfulfilled existence in this unrelenting shitstorm of life, you can temporarily escape all of it, by simply wasting away days of your life on various degree of fake/staged reality on screen— such as deliriously uplifting Pixar films.
Let the silly little things brighten up your days, nights and weeks. Put an extra smile on your face and end your day as a happy clam. Dismiss minor concerns when you dont have to deal with them. You know there is time imperative for that and other times you are just wasting your energy anxiously waiting for the dooming moment.
