6, On the Hill of Difficulty

The Season of Hardship

The Season of Hardship

In life there are bright seasons,
but to everyone, without exception, a season of hardship eventually arrives.
In such times even the word faith, even a single verse of Scripture, refuses to enter the heart.
Prayer scatters like an echo that finds no wall to return from,
and God feels unbearably distant.

I, too, walked through such a season.
And during that time, I found myself standing before the death of a single stork.

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The Death of a Stork and My Own Distress

A stork that had long stayed close to me—San-hwang-i—
lost its life in a distant land.
This was not the cool, detached record of a scientist;
it was the hollow ache of a bond with a living creature suddenly severed.

I mourned its death.
But in this world there were almost no people
who would grieve the passing of that bird.
That truth pushed me into a deep loneliness.

This was not sentimental excess.
As one who believes in God’s providence,
I knew the weight of standing before a life that disappears
from the order of creation itself.
It was a silence heavy with meaning.

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Timorous and Unbelief

In The Pilgrim’s Progress, Christian leaves behind Hypocrisy and Formalist
and begins his ascent toward the Hill of Difficulty.
It is the symbol of spiritual depression—
a ridge every believer must cross on the journey of faith.

Halfway up the hill, Christian encounters two pilgrims:
Timorous and Mistrust.

Timorous says,

“There are worse dangers ahead! How can anyone continue on this road?
I am turning back.”

Mistrust warns,

“There is a lion up there! If you go on, you’ll be devoured!”

Terrified of troubles that had not yet come,
they abandoned the path of faith
and went back the way they had come—
a road that led directly back to the City of Destruction.

Fig. 6–1: Timorous and Mistrust on the Hill of Difficulty

Such people still exist today—
those who give up faith by invoking the anxieties of tomorrow.
But fear never leads to safety.
It only leads to ruin.

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Why Christian Could Not Turn Back

Christian understood that the path they were returning to
was the very road that burned with fire and brimstone.
So he resolved to move forward—
slowly, painfully, but forward nonetheless.

Climbing on hands and knees, exhausted and breathless,
he finally collapsed beneath the shade of a large tree halfway up the hill.
There he drifted into a deep sleep.

But while he slept,
the scroll he had been holding slipped from his hand.
That scroll was the token he received at the Cross—
the certificate of his salvation,
his right of entry into the Celestial City.

To lose it was to lose his very identity.

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A Lesson for Every Troubled Soul

This scene mirrors our own lives.
In times of distress we are most prone to lose what is essential.
We close our Bibles, cease to pray,
and neglect worship altogether.

Like Christian dropping his scroll,
we, too, lose the joy and assurance of salvation.

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✍ Questions for Meditation

Am I running away like Timorous?

Am I retreating in fear like Mistrust, worrying about troubles that have not yet come?

Have I dropped my scroll—the joy of the gospel— somewhere along the way?

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Grasping the Scroll Again

The day the death of a single stork brought my heart to a halt, I realized something.
I, too, am a Christian climbing the Hill of Hardship.
That day, I grasped the scroll in my hands once more.
I held on to the grace received at the foot of the cross, God’s Word, and the strength to rise again.

Fig. 6-2: A Christian sleeping under a tree on the Hill of Hardship

Laziness and spiritual drowsiness always steal what matters most. Yet the Lord calls us to rise again and grasp the scroll.

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Fig. 6-3: The stork that awakened the pilgrim

The Death of Sanhwang and Awakening Faith

What awakened his spiritual slumber was not just the words of Scripture.
It was a single stork—Sanhwang.
Sanhwang was not merely a migratory bird;
it was a being in which a natural scientist had poured dreams

while studying the mysteries of life.

Released back into the wild in 2015, Sanhwang began its first flight,
soaring over oceans of more than 1,000 km alone,
demonstrating a migration route never before recorded.

Fig 6-4: Sanhwang flying tirelessly over the boundless sea

Yet Sanhwang’s signal was cut off near Okinoerabu Island in Japan.
A few days later, Japanese media reported that Sanhwang had been cremated.
In despair, I filed a complaint with the airport authorities and even reported the matter to the Japanese prosecutor’s office,
but all that came back was a single “non-prosecution notice.”

The dreams of a scientist, the pride of national sovereignty,
and, above all, the guilt of having been unable to do anything for Sanhwang
came crashing over me all at once.

“Is my country truly a sovereign nation?”
“Did I, as a scientist, protect this life until the end?”
“Why did Sanhwang have to die this way?”

Fig. 6-5: Sanhwang’s final moments at Okinoerabu Airport, Japan

Just as the Christian lost the scroll while asleep, I too awoke from a deep slumber before Sanhwang’s death.
That incident was not merely a frustration; it was a spiritual awakening.

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The Meaning of Suffering

The Bible says:
"We must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God." (Acts 14:22)
"We do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Romans 8:26)

The death of Sanhwang was an event that shattered me,
yet it also became an opportunity to grasp God’s Word once again.
It was not a time of sorrow, but a time of awakening.

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God’s Thoughts and My Thoughts

I often ask myself:
"Am I walking with God right now?"
"Is the stork restoration merely my passion, or is it God’s mission?"

The author of Hebrews says:
"By offering Himself as the perfect sacrifice through the power of the Spirit, Christ has set us free from the futile effort to make ourselves righteous." (Hebrews 9:15)

I have come to realize that my work to revive the storks
was, for a long time, about making a name for myself.
I had forgotten that it is a journey of faith to renew the life God has created.

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Standing Again as a Pilgrim

Hebrews 11 speaks of the ancestors of faith:
Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham…
They did not seek to make themselves great. They trusted only in God,
and it was God who made them great.

I now want to live in the same way.
Not for my papers, my awards, or my achievements,
but to live in a way that pleases God,
to live a life recognized by Him.

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Closing Confession and Prayer

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." (Galatians 2:20)

Now, I desire to walk the pilgrim’s path,
not by my will, but in obedience to the Lord’s.
Though weak like a stork, I want to soar toward heaven in faith.

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✍ Pilgrim’s Prayer
"God, I confess that during the time I was asleep, I dropped the scroll and lost sight of my mission. Thank You, Lord, for awakening me again through the death of Sanhwang.
Now, let me take the scroll in my hand and walk to the very end.
Keep me from being a coward or unbeliever, and let me not sleep on the path of truth.
I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen."