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After That Happened

I became stronger.
After that happened,
more—
I became stronger.
I could feel the stronger me inside.

I was so fragile,
as if I would break.
Like a candle in the wind,
ready to go out.

Weak and small,
I swayed as if I would fall at any moment.
I felt I would never rise again.
As if I would fade away,
lose myself,
stand alone
in a wide, empty field
with nowhere to lean.

But I became more certain.
I began to see what I could not see before.
I began to hear what I had not heard.
What I had not felt
became clear and sharp.

After that happened,
I became clearer.
I was not lost in confusion.
I became sure.

From living by the eyes of others
to finding the eyes within myself—
all that I went through
changed the way I see.

After going through such things,
I became gentle and careful.
And that gentleness
set my heart upright
and gave me a deep wish
to stand straight and true.

There was a time
when I could not even think freely.
I looked like someone pushed and pulled by others.
It was a hard journey—
a very hard one.

But at last,
I have walked through it.
I have come out the other side.
I am still alone at times,
but in that loneliness,
I am learning wisdom.

*these are my own paintings*