A Quiet Dream in a Loud World

Diary

Maybe it's everyone's dream...

Since I was young, I always liked dramas that weren’t so typical. I admired the sense of freedom in American and British dramas, so I watched a lot of them. Looking back, I think those shows helped me get through tough times by allowing me to dream of a better future.

Shameless, Misfits, Game of Thrones, Skins... Out of all of them, Misfits and Shameless were my favorites. There was something so captivating about how, despite all the hardships, they managed to live happily with their friends and family.

As I reflect on things, I realize it's not wealth or fame that I want. What I really want is to just relax with a close friend, eating fries and drinking beer while watching a soccer game. Maybe even dancing if a good song comes on. I’d much rather have a simple life, where instead of dressing up for fancy dinners, I’m grilling meat in the backyard with my family, playing guitar and just enjoying the moment.

When I think about it, maybe everyone is striving for that simplicity in some way.

I don't want to work hard just to show off to others. I don’t want to seek validation by impressing people. Yet, I feel like I’m being pushed into this endless competition, as if I need to climb some invisible social ladder. It’s exhausting, and I’m not that kind of person. But still, it feels like the world is pushing us all into roles and classes that we have to follow. It’s tough.

Is Korean society really that hard to live in? Would it be any different if I moved abroad? I wonder...

Probably not.

Should I try to earn a ton of money? Would that change anything? Should I chase fame and recognition? I don’t think that’s the answer either. Honestly, I don’t know.

And studying engineering... man, it's so hard...TLqkf.