Happiness

부자가 되는 방법, 행복, 성격에 대한 대화의 노트 테이킹

정확히 물어본적은 없지만 미루어 짐작컨데, 빌리어네어였거나 그에 가까웠던 집안에서 태어난 전 남친은 나와 헤어지고 각종 종교와 깨달음에 심취했었다. 넘치는 돈과 시간, 그리고 타고난 영민함과 의지력으로 결국 그는 닥터 스트레인지에 나올법한 놀라운 세계에 다다랐고, 의도성없이 사람들에게 가르침을 전하던 그는 그를 따르는 공동체까지 갖게 되었었다. 나는 그의 지혜가 좋아서 그와 이야기하는 것을 좋아했기때문에 그리고 그도 사람으로서 나를 계속 좋아했기때문에 난 항상 특별한 자리를 얻었다. 그의 가르침을 따르고자 하는 그룹이 생겼고, 온라인에서의 비밀 그룹이었음에도 불구하고 그의 가르침을 따르고자 하는 사람들은 계속 늘어갔다. 그런데 한동안 가르침을 전하던 그는 어느날 갑자기 사라져 지금은 연락이 닿지 않게 되었다. 나는 걱정은 하지 않지만, 어느날 넷플릭스 다큐멘터리 제작자가 나에게 와서 그의 20대 중반은 어땠냐고, 인터뷰를 할 수 있겠냐고 묻는 날을 내심 고대하고 있다. 

2016년 어느날, 나는 그에게 '행복'에 대해서 물어본적있다. 나는 성공하고 싶었고, 행복도 하고 싶었고, 그 모든것을 얻고 싶어서 잔뜩 불행했던 상태였다. 그가 조곤조곤 말해주던 것을 나는 때때로 타이핑으로 남겨두곤 했다. 행복에 대해서, 부자가 되는 것에 대해서, 성격에 대해서, 이런 얘기들을 나눴다. 그 내용을 나는 너무 좋아해서 언젠가 한국어로 번역해서 브런치에 올리려고 했는데, 번역과 정리라는게 은근 귀찮아서 미루고 미루다가 4년이 지났다. 그래서 심지어 정리도 안한채로 내가 그냥 타이핑 한채로 여기에 복붙한다. 4년전 이런 얘기를 했던 그는 지금은 얼마나 더 다른 사람이 되었을까 궁금하다.

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If you wanna be successful financially, you need obsession. You need to be obsessed for it.

Obsession often comes because of sense of lack, and a need to prove something.

Any way, to be financially successful, you need to be obsessed

The more obssessed you are, the more you need the feel of prove yourself.

People that are content however, don't give a fuck.

College dropouts, now they have to really prove themselves. That's why silicon valley goes extra mile to hire talented dropouts. They are talented and the obsessed.

Often, you need to choose obsession with financial success VS. contentment. Because as I said the obsession comes from the sense of lakcing, by the definition it's not contented status. So it's almost like the opposite concept.  

People in 20s, they feel more urge to prove themselves. That's why often they are lesser happy and they do stupid shit like finding themselves.

Usually people in their 30s, that kind of goes down the level of that urge. Aging -> you are more content with your circumstances as you get older.  

People stil do stuff because it's boring. Life is boring otherwise, you gotta do something. It doesn't need to be coming your greediness. But the current dynamic does support this statement.

You gotta give up. You gotta realize. You never had anything. The realization is hard because you will blame things you didn't have.

The room for changing and growth is most fertile when you hit rock bottom. When you lose your footing, you gotta get there for actual change and perspective change.  

Small achievement will help you. Push it further and get it, then you will realize it wasn't that what you were looking for.

Story is the best form to deliver the message. It's just a story. What you get out of the story is up to you. Story makes the lessons more reliable.

All the kids I knew are all gold spoons. I have been surrounded people that are financially very well-off. Ever since I was kid, money was never something that I thought about. That's why I know as a fact, money never bring the happiness. Because the well off people that I know are most depressed people that I've ever known. It's your internal world that determines your level of happiness, not your external circumstances. It's easier, however just bitch the external world instead of realize that. So that's why many times it helps you achieve and taste the success of external world to realize that it's not gonna give you what you want. It's like person never fall in love, have amazing idea about love...

You intellectualize your reason. You make your excuses sexier. Basically it's your ego.

The whole world is network. Everything works in realtion to one another. Rich people use their network to their advantage to get what they want. You use other people to relation.

For a normal person to become rich, How you become rich?

1) You gotta be socially competent -> You judge social situation of people without your biasis. Fat person is working by, biased person might judge that fat person this this this this, you reduce that person from what he is the strengths and weakness from your bias. Yuu are quick to judgement without evidence. Socially competent person sees people as they are, and only makes judgement when enough evidence is presented. At that point, you make judgement. and your judgement is not emotional judgement and your functional judgement. Functional judgement means how this person can help me in my goals and my path. That's why lots of great business mind -> they see the people, and see who can help them, who they can ride on the journey to success. 

However be careful, being rich doesn't make you happy. Be aware about it. My brother in law, borrow 5 million dollars from my father, and another 5 mil from his friend, when he even didn't have any business plan. But with the money, he put in work. He consistently over turn everything. He's very successful entrepreneur in Canada. You can google his name xxx. But he is depressed. All he is trying to do is making money. He was so stressed out last year and his feet kept swelling off without any reason. He is super egoistic. His dad was alright like couple of million dollars but he wanted more.

2) Being aware of the fact that humanity is one inner connected whole, network.

If they are not obsessed, they won't become super rich as an average person

.. [I lost conversation track here on how to become rich. Damn it.]

The only rich people who enjoy their life is the people with the first goal was not money.

Money should never be your goal.

The world owe you nothing, I owe you nothing, get over yourself and fuck off

Someone tells you something bad like you're ugly,

1) if you are ugly, why would you get offended? because you are ugly. he's telling the truth.

2) if you are not ugly, why would you care? why would you give a shit of what he saying? 

It's non nonsensical if you get offended when people offend you.

The problem is that people don't know whether they are ugly or not. So it's important to have self-awareness.

People get upset because they are not aware themselves.

About personality?

If you have strong personality and you polarizing, people will either hate you, if they love you, they will fucking love you.

Personality: Create your personality, it's recommended to create entertaining personality. The amount of entertain you bring to the table is the amount of the value you give to yourself to interaction. If you are depressed fucking moron, no one wants to hang around with you. because you are not bring anything to the table.

Westerns are good at creating their personality than Asians in general. And they believe in their own bullshit.  

What is personality? -> it's like a decoration of the person. Decoration is something that people see first before they go into the core.

Just like if the product package is shit, you will hardly get the chance to try that amazing product. There is no true personality, your personality only exists for you to function. Decide what do you want from that person, hence what side you show to the person. Create your personality and be a fun person. 

So once you say you are introverts, you become an introverts. it's self fulfilling prophecy. you stuck there.