What is the most important

issue facing the environment today?

Today’s Topic

What is the most important issue facing the environment today?

1. 내가 쓴 글

Covid-19 is the most important issue facing the environment today. But I'm not sure, we can call it, Covid-19, as the environment issue. So I'll tell you about Shampoo which looks more near to the environment. I felt Shampoo contaminated the environment so much with its own bad ingredients. So I have decided not to use Shampoo a few years ago and I still have kept it. I usually used shampoo so much because my hair was so heavy. When I read the book about the bad effect not only on the earth's environment but also on my body, I had decided not to use shampoo for cleaning my hair. It was very difficult to clean my hair without shampoo only with the water. However as time goes by, I can feel that my hair is fluent and very healthy. I clean my hair every night only with warm water many times just as when I wash my face. I am happy with cleaning my hair only with warm water, it makes the earth and my hair healthy. I want to advise you to clean your hair only with warm water.

2. 첨삭되어 온 글

Covid-19 (COVID-19) is the most important issue facing the environment today. But I'm not sure, (sure if) we can call it, Covid-19, (COVID-19,) as the environment (an environmental) issue. So I'll tell you about Shampoo (shampoo,) which looks more near to the environment. (can be considered an environmental issue.)

I felt Shampoo (shampoo had) contaminated the environment so much with its own bad (OR: harmful) ingredients. So I have(X) decided not to use Shampoo (shampoo) a few years ago(,) and I (am) still have kept (doing) it.

I usually used shampoo so much because my hair was so heavy. (thick.) When I read the book about the (its) bad effect (effects) not only on the earth's environment but also on my body, I had(X) decided not to use shampoo for cleaning (to clean) my hair.

It was very difficult to clean my hair without shampoo (and) only with the(X) water. However(,) as time goes by, I can feel that my hair is fluent (becoming bouncy) and very healthy. I clean my hair every night only with warm water many times just as when I wash my face. I am happy with cleaning my hair only with warm water, (water because) it makes the earth and my hair healthy.

I want to advise you to clean your hair only with warm water.

3. 기억해야 할 것들

Covid-19 (COVID-19) is the most important issue facing the environment today.

맞다. 지난번에 했었는데. 코비드 19는 반드시 대문자로 써야 한다. COVID-19 꼭 기억하자.

But I'm not sure, (sure if) we can call it, Covid-19, (COVID-19,) as the environment (an environmental) issue.

아하 뭐뭐 인지 아닌지 잘 모르겠다 할 때 if 를 쓰면 되는구나. 오호 이럴 땐 정관사가 아니라 부정관사. an environmental issue. 그치. 어느거 딱 정해놓은 게 아니니까.

So I'll tell you about Shampoo (shampoo,) which looks more near to the environment. (can be considered an environmental issue.)

여기서 왜 나는 대문자를 썼을까. 그냥 일반 명사인데. shampoo. 아하. 요거 정말 세련된 표현이네. 환경문제에 포함될 수 있을 것 같다가 훨씬 낫구나.

I felt Shampoo (shampoo had) contaminated the environment so much with its own bad (OR: harmful) ingredients.

오염시키고 그걸로 끝이 아니라 지금까지 오염시키고 있으니까 had contaminated 완료형을 써야 한다. 오호 bad 보다는 harmful이 더 낫겠구나.

So I have(X) decided not to use Shampoo (shampoo) a few years ago(,) and I (am) still have kept (doing) it.

아하 결심은 과거에 한 거니까 굳이 완료형을 쓸 필요가 없구나. 아, 내가 여기 현재형을 쓴 것은 시제 일치를 위하여 뒷 문장에 현재형이 나오니까 일부러 have동사를 써서 시제 일치를 꾀한 건데 그렇게 하는 게 아닌가? 그냥 과거형으로 써야 하나? 뒷 문장이 현재형으로 오는데 그래도 시제 일치에 문제가 없나? and라는 접속사를 쓰니까 그 이후엔 굳이 시제 일치가 필요하지 않은 것일까? 여하튼 고쳐준 표현을 익혀두자. So I decided not to use shampoo a few years ago, and I am still doing it.

I usually used shampoo so much because my hair was so heavy. (thick.) When I read the book about the (its) bad effect (effects) not only on the earth's environment but also on my body, I had(X) decided not to use shampoo for cleaning (to clean) my hair.

하핫 내 머리숱이 너무 많다는 heavy가 아니라 thick을 쓰는 거구나. my hair is so thick. 정관사를 아무 데나 쓰지 말자. its bad effects. 결심했다 과거형으로만 쓸 것. not to use shampoo to clean my hair. 아하 이럴 땐 to 부정사를 쓸 것. 오케이.

It was very difficult to clean my hair without shampoo (and) only with the(X) water.

오호 이럴 때 and를 써줘야 하는구나. 물에는 정관사가 필요 없어요~

However(,) as time goes by, I can feel that my hair is fluent (becoming bouncy) and very healthy.

However 다음엔 반드시 콤마. 오케이. becoming bouncy라고 해야 하는구나. 아하.

bouncy: 탱탱한, 탄력 있는

fluent: 유창한, 능숙한

flaunt: 과시하다

abundant: 풍성한, 풍부한

I clean my hair every night only with warm water many times just as when I wash my face. I am happy with cleaning my hair only with warm water, (water because) it makes the earth and my hair healthy.

콤마를 써주면 다 될 줄 알았는데 아니구나. because를 따로 써줘야 하는구나. 오케이.

4. 첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글

COVID-19 is the most important issue facing the environment today. But I'm not sure if we can call it, COVID-19, as an environmental issue. So I'll tell you about shampoo, which can be considered an environmental issue.

I felt shampoo had contaminated the environment so much with its harmful ingredients. So I decided not to use shampoo a few years ago, and I am still doing it.

I usually used shampoo so much because my hair was so thick. When I read the book about its bad effects not only on the earth's environment but also on my body, I decided not to use shampoo to clean my hair.

It was very difficult to clean my hair without shampoo and only with water. However, as time goes by, I can feel that my hair is becoming bouncy and very healthy. I clean my hair every night only with warm water many times just as when I wash my face. I am happy with cleaning my hair only with warm water because it makes the earth and my hair healthy.

I want to advise you to clean your hair only with warm water.

5. 그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트

Thank you for completing Step 4. We appreciate your effort in writing something down. It is nice that you made an interesting piece of writing. We can see that you try to practice your English as much as you can. Good job!

넵. 감사합니다.

Just take note of the difference between that and which.

that과 which는 언제나 헷갈린다.

That - limits the meaning of the word it modifies and is important to get the meaning of the sentence. Since it contains important information, it is not set off with commas:

that은 콤마를 쓰지 않고 아주 중요한 내용이 들어있다.

I like the watch that my husband gave me.

남편이 내게 준 시계를 좋아한다. 콤마 없고 매우 중요한 내용. 아하.

Which - When the clause contains unimportant or additional information, it can be set off with commas. If you remove a clause with which from a sentence, the meaning does not change significantly.

which는 중요치 않은 정보. 콤마와 함께 씀. 없어도 메인 뜻에 변화 없음.

Correct: My watch, which is expensive, got damaged because I accidentally dropped it.

Still correct: My watch got damaged because I accidentally dropped it.

내 시계는, 아주 비싼 건데, 떨어트려 깨졌다. '아주 비싼 건데'가 빠져도 떨어트려 깨졌다는 메인 뜻엔 변화가 없다. 오케이.

Keep practicing your English to enrich your vocabulary further. We would love to hear more of your stories and ideas. Good day! :)

어휘력을 늘리는데 노력하라. 넵 알겠습니다.

(사진:꽃뜰)