What could be the main concern

for the young adults these days?

Today’s Topic

What could be the main concerns for the young adults these days? Tell me three of them.

1. 내가 쓴 글

I think, young adults these days may concern about studying, love and sports. At first, they may try to study well to do what they want to do in the future. They may have difficulties concentrating only on studying because they have so many things they want to do. Do I have to study now? They may ask themselves so many times. The spring weather may call them to play in the field. How difficult it would be to study in the room in such beautiful weather out of the window. Second, they may fall in love with someone. How wonderful they are loving each other in those young days. How great it is to fall in love. They may confuse this would be real love? Whom do I have to marry? Third, they may enjoy many sports with friends such as soccer, tennis, table tennis, and swim. A strong and charming body makes a healthy mind. They may have a good mind through sports. Study, love, and sports are the main concerns, I think, for young adults these days.

2. 첨삭되어 온 글

I think, young adults these days may concern(be concerned) about studying, love(,) and sports. At first, they may try to study well to do what they want to do in the future. They may have difficulties concentrating only on studying because they have so many things they want to do. Do I have to study now? They may ask themselves so many times. The spring weather may call them to play in the field. How difficult it would be to study in the room in(a room when you see) such beautiful weather out of the window. Second, they may fall in love with someone. How wonderful they are loving each other in those young days. How great it is to fall in love. They may confuse this would be(get confused and ask, "Is it) real love?(love?") Whom("Whom) do I have to marry?(marry?") Third, they may enjoy many sports with friends such as soccer, tennis, table tennis, and swim(swimming). A strong and charming body makes a healthy mind. They may have a good mind through sports. Study, love, and sports are the main concerns, I think, for young adults these days.

3. 내가 기억해야 될 것들

I think, young adults these days may concern(be concerned) about studying, love(,) and sports.

앗 이건 쫌 이상하다. 내가 맞는 것 같은데. 젊은이들이 신경 쓸 것이 다니까 굳이 수동형이 필요 없을 것 같은데. 음. 그냥 외우 잣.

콤마 콤마... 가다가 마지막 and 앞에서도 콤마를 찍어주어야 하는구나.

How difficult it would be to study in the room in(a room when you see) such beautiful weather out of the window.

오호 요런 문장 방식은 그냥 외워버리자. 자연스럽게 나오도록. to study in a room when you see such beautiful weather out of the window

They may confuse this would be(get confused and ask, "Is it) real love?(love?") Whom("Whom) do I have to marry?(marry?")

충분히 말을 다 써줘야 하는구나. confuse와 ask 모두 써줘야 하는구나. 괜히 줄이려 하지 말고 이해가 되도록 다 써주도록 하자. They may get confused and ask, "Is it real love?" 따옴표 써줄 거 써주고. 문장 확실하게 만들어서. 게다가 문장 하나씩 따옴표 따로 써주면서. 아하. "Whom do I have to marry?"

Third, they may enjoy many sports with friends such as soccer, tennis, table tennis, and swim(swimming).

아하. 수영은 swimming이라고 해야 하는구나. 그렇지. 모두 명사로 나왔으면 얘도 명사로 만들어주어야지. 오케이.

4. 첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글

I think, young adults these days may be concerned about studying, love, and sports. At first, they may try to study well to do what they want to do in the future. They may have difficulties concentrating only on studying because they have so many things they want to do. Do I have to study now? They may ask themselves so many times. The spring weather may call them to play in the field. How difficult it would be to study in a room when you see such beautiful weather out of the window. Second, they may fall in love with someone. How wonderful they are loving each other in those young days. How great it is to fall in love. They may get confused and ask, "Is it real love?" "Whom do I have to marry?" Third, they may enjoy many sports with friends such as soccer, tennis, table tennis, and swimming. A strong and charming body makes a healthy mind. They may have a good mind through sports. Study, love, and sports are the main concerns, I think, for young adults these days.

5. 그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트

Thank you for completing Step 4. Your entry is splendid! We appreciate your effort to write an entry here and your attempt to express your amazing ideas in English. Despite some lapses, we can say that your essay was written successfully because not only that you tried to express in English everything you had in mind but you also tried to write one that is really smooth to read. We commend you for that. Just take note of the corrections. Keep on expressing yourself in English. They say that constant correct practice makes perfect, so we believe you can do it perfectly next time! We'll be here to help you improve your English writing skill every step of the way, so keep writing. :)

entry에 다른 뜻이 있나? 하고 사전을 찾아보았다. 입장 등장 외에 응모작 출품작이라는 뜻도 있다. 난 나의 글 진입 부분이 좋았다는 말인가 했는데 출품작으로 보면 될 것 같다. 하하. 하고픈 말 다하면서도 매우 부드럽게 읽히게 쓴 게 강점이라고 라. 헤헤 넵. 고쳐주신 것 항상 잘 기억하도록 하겠습니다. 넵! 계속 열심히 쓰겠습니다. 감사합니다~

entry: 입장, 등장, 응모작, 출품작.

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