09.29.19 편지

미국에서

Let me give you more explain. I mean i don’t wanna blame you. You would be right this time. But the thing is my mind is changed. I can’t be lovely to you like before. I think maybe i try to look at your wrong or easily find it.

Nowadays it is also hard time to me. I’m in trouble with many things, like hard to improve En, stopping career, money problem, mother’s health. I feel i don’t fit in NY life. So almost everyday i’m thinking about why i should keep staying here.

I’m so stressful and anxious all the time. So i’m getting more limited to understand you. When i feel lonely from you, i’m more crazy because i lost patient and composure already.

If you give me a small stress, it would bring bigger bad emotion to me. So.... i mean the point is It’s not about you, but about me. And so far I lost my direction about our relationship. An hour ago, i was sure to break up, but now I regret i said it. However, still I don’t know what i can do. i’m so stressful.