The Charisma Myth

(by Olivia Fox Cabane)

Charisma is the ability to attract attention and admiration of people and influence them.

Charisma is one of the most common disadvantages that immigrants and non-native speakers of American English may have in the US. I used to blame cultural differences as the primary reason, because charismatic behaviors and language in Korea are not often charismatic in the US. Strong speakers, enforcers, and commander-style, cold-blooded leaders are typical charismatic figures in Korea, while this is not the case in my workplaces or casual social interactions.

Since I moved to the US 14 years ago, I haven’t put much effort into learning about charisma in this country and enhancing it. But, this book changed me. And it tells me I can improve my charisma by following the practical tips and guidelines that it offers.

How do you improve charisma? This book says by strengthening three traits: presence, power, and warmth. Presence is complete engagement in conversation. This is the attribute I need to develop the most out of the three, I think. Lean in and listen. Don’t interrupt in the middle of speech. On top of them, better engagement also involves showing the right body gestures and languages, including talking with genuine interest in the conversation and mirroring body gestures.

Doing matters more than learning. I’m going to practice charismatic behaviors and languages in my workplace and social groups. I’ll try to give a short but sincere response to conversations and actions. Interestingly, I realized that the Korean-speaking community is not easier than the English-speaking community. So I’ll practice in both.