Subtract One

I love you my son!

In my short life experience, I’ve realized that each country has its own unique scent.

In Singapore, no matter where I went, it felt like someone had sprayed perfume everywhere.

Was it because I was happy?

Climbing the small hill in Sentosa or Garden Park, I saw many trees I had never seen before. Especially the banyan tree, whose branches bend under their weight and touch the ground, sprout roots and grow into secondary trunks connected to the original tree, creating a majestic cluster of thick branches.

For several days in this lush green country, my husband and I, along with our children and grandmother, spent a very happy time.

Now that I have to discuss and decide everything with my husband, I felt so happy and at peace. Taking good care of our children, praying freely together, and strolling through the city with its refreshing perfume scent, my heart felt much lighter. No matter how hard things might get, I felt that we could overcome any situation as long as our family was together.

Our family took a flight back to Korea with our two babies and grandmother.

It was another miracle for me to have a happy flight
with the whole family.

However, from the first day we arrived in Korea, my son started having diarrhea.

We took him to a big hospital immediately, but his amoebic diarrhea continued, and he grew weaker.

As the date to return to Singapore approached, my son was slowly getting better, but I was still anxious.

My son had suffered from diarrhea and amoebic diarrhea since shortly after birth.

And because we do not have enough money, we couldn’t get formula milk, we had to boil beef or lamb bones to make milk, which I thought kept making him sick.

I always felt sorry for him.

I thought maybe it was right to give up all our plans and do my best to take care of this sick child safely.

But then, my mother and grandmother, who had been watching our situation, spoke to me again.

"My dear, it must be very hard for you to face such difficult situations repeatedly.

But this time, it seems much better than when you had to leave your daughter a few years ago.

Going to Singapore this time gives me peace of mind. Your grandmother says it's a really nice country. While you undergo training for six months, I’ll take care of your son here.

Fortunately, he follows his great grandmother well, so there shouldn’t be any big issues.

And if we take good care of him in Korea, he’ll get healthy.

When you finish, either you can come back, or we’ll bring your son to you."

Oh! Is this another one of God's "subtract one" tactics?
For what purpose?

This time, I didn't cry.

I believed that God, who loves me, must have a reason.

Since we were only taking our daughter to Singapore, I was so grateful that we could leave our son in the safe hands of my family in Korea.

Two years after I boarded the plane to Pakistan, crying my eyes out as I left my 3-month-old daughter behind in Korea, this time I boarded the plane to Singapore, leaving my son behind, feeling hopeful for God's continued plan for our family through His "subtract one" game.

Maybe God wanted to give my daughter, who had been afraid of men in Pakistan, time to adjust well with her dad. And perhaps God was also giving my husband and me time to fill the gaps left by our frequent separations.

I began to understand that the "subtract one" plan was for us.

On the flight back, the three of us headed to Singapore, smiling happily like any family going on a summer vacation.