Jesus Anointed at Bethany
1 Six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. 2 Here a dinner was given in Jesus’ honor. Martha served, while Lazarus was among those reclining at the table with him. 3 Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume.4 But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected, 5 “Why wasn’t this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages. 6 He did not say this because he cared about the poor but, because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.7 “Leave her alone,” Jesus replied. “It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial. 8 You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” 9 Meanwhile, a large crowd of Jews found out that Jesus was there and came, not only because of him but also to see Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. 10 So the chief priests made plans to kill Lazarus as well, 11 for on account of him many of the Jews were going over to Jesus and believing in him.
Whatever I do something good, the intention I am doing it is very important as the God, my Father, knows it well. Therefore, how hard I try to hide it, it is not hidden. Last night, I couldn't sleep at all, staying all night, thinking of the reasons I make a book that's going to publish soon. 5 years ago, God put the desires of writing a book, which was considered impossible as the contents of it are related with the bible and English. I got to know that It was not easy to publish that kind of books.
The problem is that I intended to make the book for those who do not know God and Jesus. While I had been joining some kinds of conferences, workshops, and book clubs, and so on, for a couple of years, I acknowledged that they even cared about God and never read the bible, thinking it is the book of Christians or considering it as a taboo something like that. It was shocking to me and that made me sad, and I thought I had to do something for them. It took almost 5 years to make it because I didn't have belief for that.
Thankfully, it was almost there with the help of the Holy Spirit, but when I thought of the 400 books I will have to sell or give to others, it became burdensome to me, so I couldn't sleep with the thought of canceling the contract with the publishing company. Most of all, I asked myself, "why should I do these kinds of works when I don't need any money or fame, and also I don't have much energy for that" " What is my intention for making a book?" I already allowed over 5000 members to read my writings, which I guess through the number of clicks on brunch and I did my project to do.
'My intention is not to be a famous author, only just to be a sincere Christian to God, families, and neighbors, and that is enough.' I was talking to my Father all through the night. This morning, when I see Mary pouring an expensive perfume on Jesus' feet, I feel sad that I have little faith and no sacrifice for Him, though I say, 'I love Him'. I was Judas, the Iscariot, who was objecting to the good work, hiding the selfish intentions inside and thinking the price for that, but there is no hiding in God. I feel like Jesus is saying to me, "What a little faith you have!"
