About my depression

I wan't to be strong.

A famous lecturer once said, people get lonely when they don't know how to stand up by themselves. And I guess he's right. I don't feel miserable of being alone, well, I was, in the first place. But lonliness that comes from isolation doesn't last long. When I felt vernerable, and left behind others, it felt like I'm the only one who is having a hard time. later on, I realized that it's not only me who is suffering. But when I'm stuck with my problem, I can't get out. I imagine queen Tomyris who overcame her fears. She never stops. She is independent, and wise. And she is the first queen of human history. I was impressed by the movie about her. And I reflected myself. I wanted to stop whining about small things. I want a nonstop when I achieve my goals. I want to be brave and bold.

Anxiety and depression are my enemy right now. I'm dealing with it, and it feels like hell. I'm now tired I just need courage. I don't want to stop. I'm a strong person. Ande each time I feel blue because of failure, I write. I write about my feelings. I write about my worries and will. Cause I want to see it with my own eyes whether I can overcome this or not. Reading my own wrting helps me to figure out solutions and it becomes the outlet of emotions. Finally, it leads to lessons that I really need. Look now, I'm ready to grow. You have the strength to write right now. So why don't you try studying and do other things too? It's not that hard, so keep going and when you meet your limit, just like the black lion from the movie, (acttually, it's destiny or misfortune for Tomyris) face it.

Yeah, I can't get along with that black tiger, or maybe rave which I named it, I want to step on it, so I can go up. I have dozens of reasons to try and get back up. My energy comes from writing and small things that helps my writing. Why did I think life should be always happy, while it's the opposite? I promise I'll tear rave(In french, it's daydream, fantasy, etc.) in half and put his head beneath the surface and lock him up with my own magic spell. I know I can deal with my emotions. Now let me try new stuffs and grow resilience. I'm not afraid of depression anymore, cause I know how to deal with him.