Silver Lining over Cloud
An Engineer's Career Story
It was so foggy that I couldn't see what is in front of me. It made me hestitating to step forward. But staying still is even more dangerous, because it could be as if tree leaf is floating over water. That was the moment right before starting my career. I had lots of dreams, but was not surre whereto the road I selected to me.
When you start your job, you are like feather in the sky. You are flying over the air. Everyday is too hectic to think where you are. As time goes by, we get accustomed with work and are becoming to take it for granted. Working at the company is like climbing mountain with lots of ups-and-downs. After some years at my first company, I wanted to climb another mountain. And I quit to join the company in the UK.
The very first day when I arrived the UK, 31st March 2014. It was a dark, chilly and rainy day. The very first meal in the UK was water-logged fish and chips. The weather and water-logged fish and chips: These are a precursor telling my coming future in the UK: language barrier and culture shock. There was a moment that I felt like I was at the bottom of my life on my early days in the UK. I felt at some point that I was in the middle of dark fog. I was so desperate to work better and speak better, but it wasn't easy. My English was not good enough to deliver my though.
But there was silver lining over cloud.
I was lucky enough to have good colleages who are willing to have small talks with me.
I was lucky enough to have a good mentor who is willing to guide me and give me nice advice.
I was also lucky enought to have Korean family in my neighborhood to have BBQ from time to time.
After some years, I was representing the company to show off our technical capability and to have more business. Having spent some years at the company, it is not like climbing mountain alone anymore, but it is more like being a captain for a big ship in the sea.
I often feel that I am in the middle of vast sea where I can't see any land but only water, and other sailors and seamen are staring at me.
In a good day, I don't need to do much and could enjoy sunshine, but will be nervous as we don't know what will come next day.
In a bad day, I feel like there is a big storm coming to me, which is shaking the ship. Too much work to do, a difficult member to deal with, and worstly company conflicts.
My life would be much easier if there is no company politics and I can focus on the meaningful work. Sometimes, internal conflict is more shaking the ship than external storm, and that was my momnet to decide to leave the ship when we were in the middle of Covid-storm.
The funny thing about our like is its repetivenss. We are in the same situation and are make same mistake again. "If I were in same situation, I wouldn't do it like that again." We often say ourselves like that. And I feel Deja Vu every now and then and am forced to make a decision all the time. Whatever decision I am making, that determines my future from now on. Will there be silver lining over cloud in the future again?
- My Speech for Toastmaster on 28th April 2024
