To you, My great teachers
Crazy dog, Great teacher, and My rival.
My family calls Hyeonsoo the great teacher. Is it a memory of when I was about 9 years old? One winter, when Hyeonsoo, who is two and a half years apart from me, had to prepare for elementary school entrance, I heard my mom and dad talking seriously in the bedroom.
The less powerful and smaller I was, the more sensitive I was to detect the heavy air flowing through the house. Like a herbivore. While moving to the kitchen pretending to drink water, I heard a small sound of my name being mentioned in the room. Mom and dad were discussing whether Hyeonsoo should be sent to the school I attend or to another school far from mine with a special class.
At that moment, I couldn't hold back my anger and ran into the bedroom. I guess I was angry at two points. - 1. How dare you treat my sister as a disabled person, 2. what the hell do you think of me as a person who will be intimidated by teasing. - Enraged, I threw the cup in my hand and shouted, breaking their quiet discussion in an instant. As usual, I picked a fight with my dad. The first rule of fighting: Fight only against opponents stronger than you. This is a rule that must not be broken.
My strong personality was inherited from my dad. Last year, at the airport returning to the US, my dad whispered into my ear secretly, “Meet a man like your mom, don't date a man like you or me, a nice and calm man, a man who listens to you, otherwise, it will be a whole mess”. Lol. This is not a joke, but his sincerity derived from the big data that my creator has observed me for 30 years. We, who are surprisingly alike, have been fighting bitterly, raising our voices, hurting badly, making awkward apologies, and understanding each other painfully all our lives.
The first 20 years of my life can be summarized as a war with my dad. And that day too, I had a fight with my dad and destroyed all the peace in the house. And that day too, I hid in the blanket, grinded my teeth, and cried all night because I couldn't get rid of my anger. And as usual, my mom quietly put something to eat in my room. And as always, the war ended with my dad's victory. Eventually, Hyeonsoo entered a special class at another school far away from my school.
One day in the spring of that year, my mom and Hyeonsoo came to my school to pick me up and some of the children at school must have seen it. The next day, some mean boys began to tease me, saying, "Is your sister disabled?" I don't know why, but like the moment I've been waiting for, I felt a faint thrill from the depths of my heart. Because It's a chance to finally release my wrathful anger. I thought, ‘Even if I can't beat my dad, I can beat you babies.’
I waited and watched the situation until everyone looked at me, and at the right time, I strangled the boy who was a leader, who had the most strength like a crazy girl. I defeated that boy as if to kill him. I remember biting him with all my might and being aware of everyone's gaze.
I remember my dad coming to school. I remember that my dad gave the boy's parents enough money in cash to treat him several times.
On the way home with dad. Dad hummed a song as he drove, and with prideful eyes he repeatedly said, 'You're my kid. you are my daughter. You are really my first artwork.” At a restaurant we stopped at for dinner before going back to home, my dad told me the story of how great he was in fighting when he was young, and he endlessly taught me the million fighting techniques he had learned. With the warmest eyes in the world, he smiled brightly as if he had returned to his boyhood.
I once asked my dad, "Why did Hyeonsoo have to be sick?" My dad gave me his answer as if he had been thinking about this question for a long time and had already sorted out his thoughts. "Without Hyeonsoo, I would have become a seriously arrogant person, missing out on all the important things in life and not noticing-. So, Hyeonsoo's illness is a pity for her, but it's a blessing for us, So, let's treat her as a great teacher because she's the one who teaches us the most important things in life.” Dad replied.
So, my family takes Hyeonsoo as a great teacher. Looking back one by one, truly Hyeonsoo taught me all the most precious things. There is Hyeonsoo at the root of everything that allowed me to live as who I am today.
Hyeonsoo- My everything. My big teacher.
Dad - My half. My biggest rival.
To those of you who taught me the most precious thing, With love-.
PS. After that day, my nickname became Crazy Dog, but Hyeonsoo, who visited my school, was warmly welcomed by everyone.
