끈기 is all..나를 꺼내는 과정

[읽고] Hidden Potential by Adam Grant

좀 더 일찍 만났으면 좋았을 책.

숨겨져 있는 나를 어떻게 꺼낼 것인가, 내가 그러고 싶은 것도 있고, 윤건이 그리고 내 주변 소중한 사람들의 잠재력을 극대화 할 수 있는 방법이 있을까 궁금해서 집어 들었는데.

그 동안 인생 마디를 만들어가며 배웠던 것들이 과학적으로 증명되어 있다는 데 안도를 느끼기까지.

호기심으로 새로운 것에 대한 두려움을 안아주는 편이다. 예전엔 많이 피했다.

이걸 믿는 사람들이,

특히 교육자분들이 더 많아졌으면 좋겠다.

성적이라는 잣대로만 사람의 잠재력을 판단하는 성향이 아직 대다수다.

난 내가 여러 경험을 부딪히며,

그런 판단들로 움추렸던 내가 부질없었다는 걸 느꼈지만,

사회가 그걸 좀 더 용인해주면 더욱 빨랐을 것 같다.

새로운 걸 하는 건 당연히 불편하다, 그걸 좋은 신호로 받아 들어야 한다.

성장이 인생의 중요한 가치 중 하나인데, 공감이 많이 된다. 그 두려움을 자연스럽게 받아들이는 게, 시간이 걸렸다, 부모로서, 매니저로서, 이게 너무 중요하다는 것이 시간이 지날 수록 확실해진다. 내가 갖지 못했던 결핍이 만들어낸 과한 반응일 수도 있지만.

불편함,

비완벽주의,

진정한 동기,

비나선형 인생의 곡선들.

한 마디로, growth mindset을 내재화하려면 어떤 장치들과 마음가짐이 필요한지를

아담 그랜트 만의 워딩으로 잘 풀어놨다.

그가 취약성을 드러내며 본인의 완벽주의를 극복하는 과정도 인상깊었고,

아들이 생각 많이 났다.

그의 옆에서 비가 오나 눈이 오나 옆에서 서 있어야겠다.

그리고 믿어야겠다. 우선 나를,

밑줄 친 문장들과 혼잣말 남겨두기

>character skills > scaffolding > systems

The capacities to be proactive, prosocial, disciplined and determined stayed with students longer-and ultimately proved more powerful- than early math and reading skills - 국영수 잘하는 것보다 훈련된 기질, 끈기, 우선 말하고 보는 거, 이게 더 성공 가능성이 높다. 인생은 너무 많은 변수들이 있으니까.

It's often said that where there's a will, there's a way. What we overlook is that when people can't see a path, they stop dreaming of the destination. To ignite their will, we need to show them the way. That's what scaffolding can do - 무조건 달려드는 것 보다는 얼개를 만들고 두드려보고 시작

My hope was to learn how they traveled great distance by transforming themselves and others - and sometimes the world around them…. Traveling great distances requires the courage to seek out the right kinds of discomfort, the capacity to absorb the right information, and the will to accept the right imperfections - IF YOU BUILD IT, THEY WILL CLIMB.

If personality is how you respond on a typical day, character is how you show up on a hard day. -스트레스 받을 때 진가가 나온다

How to get better at something- strengthen you character>sharpen your mind>start before you can walk > change your DNA

CREATURES OF DISCOMFORT.. AWKWARDNESS OF LEARNING

Summoning the nerve to face discomfort is a charter skill.

Going Out of Style.. Procrastination is a common problem whenever you're pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, it's not a time management problem, it's an emotional management problem- 불편해야 성장한다. 매일 새벽에 눈을 떠서 뭔가를 한다는 그 2분 이상 가지 않을 그 불편함을 피한지 벌써 7개월이 다 되어 간다. 그걸 지나면, 그때부터 성장이 시작된다. 10시 30분 취침, 5시 30분, 7시간 수면이면 내 몸은 괜찮다. (6시간 30분도)

his instant gratification monkey was in the driver's seat - 본능대로 편한 것만 살다보면 원숭이랑 다를게 없다)

Unclear writing is a sign of unclear thinking.

Getting in the Arena...if we can keep getting comfortable being uncomfortable, we can learn any language.

Deliberately Awkard… pilots learn to cope with discomfort by intensifying it, and they build their skills as they navigate it - 일부러 더 불편한 상황을 만들어라.

How we think learning happens vs. how learning actually happens..

Human Sponges… building the capacity to absorb and adapt - do you focus on feeding your ego or fueling your growth. It's easy for people to be critics or cheerleaders. It's harder to get them to be coaches.

What's the one thing I can do better?

The Imperfectionists...Ando knows that to be disciplined in some areas, we have to let others go… be selective about what he decides to do well.. Wabi Sabi gives you the discipline to shift your attention from impossible ideals to achievable standards- and then adjust those standards over time.

Do your best is the wrong cure for perfectionism… I didn't need to be perfect, I just needed to aim for a clear, high target.

People judge your potential from your best moments, not your worst - what if you gave yourself the same grace?

One of the best ways to gauge the value of other people's judgements is to look for convergence between them (inter-rater reliability)

Minimum lovable product... Imperfectionist, aiming for excellence, not flawlessness.

Ultimately, excellence is more than meeting other people's expectations. It's also about living up to your own standards

'what some other people think of my work' is 'not my prime mover' 'It's my desire to satisfy me, and to challenge myself'

Ando is now in his eighties, and his youth is reflected in his ongoing desire to grow.

Structures for Motivation - the daily grind starts to bore us and eventually burns us out.

To boost resilience is a game of Tetris.. scaffolding generally comes from other people.

Transforming the daily grind.. Pounding the pavement from a young age puts them at greater risk for both physical and mental health challenges.

I learned recently that the first treadmills were invented as torture devices...what constitutes its terror was no the severity but the monotonous steadiness - 푸하하 트레드밀이 원래 고문기계였다니.

The feeling of obligation sucked the playful rhythm out of percussion, and she saw her creativity and progress evaporate with it - 내가 가장 부족했던 부분.

It's why Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, all regularly took walks nearly as long as their workdays.

...Relaxing is not a waste of time - it's an investment in well-being.

Without enjoyment, potential stays hidden.

But the reality is less linear- and more uplifting.

We need to embrace the discomfort of getting lost.

There's a name for that feeling; it's called languishing. Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness.

I somehow feel smaller than I have ever felt in my life.. It is intoxicating.. 그래서 가끔 자연을 보고 오자, 내가 너무 커짐을 느꼈을 땐.

'we were determined to success in spite of the burden that was being placed on our shoulders'

Nurturing a growth mindset among high schoolers boosts their grades only when their teachers recognize their potential and their schools have cultures of embracing challenges - 키울 가능성을 지켜봐두는 매니저와 실패를 용인하는 문화가 토양이 되어야 growth mindset이 번성한다

All for One, one for all.

Their disbelief quickly becomes your insecurity. It shatters your confidence and stifles your growth. That's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Making progress isn't always about moving forward. Sometimes it's about bouncing back.

Progress is not only reflected in the peaks you reach- it's also visible in the valleys you cross. Resilience is a form of growth.

Systems of Opportunity - it's to invest in every student regardless of apparent ability. I'll stand by you. Teachers don't have to pull teeth or dangle prizes to encourage students to participate: their motivation comes from within.

Unleashing hidden potential is about more than having the best pieces-it's about having the best glue.

We mistake confidence for competence.. We get stuck following people who dominate the discussion instead of those who elevate it.

The more reserved leaders came across as more receptive to input from below, which gave them access to better ideas and left their teams more motivated- 조직의 성향에 따라 맞는 리더가 있다는 말, 통찰이 넘친다.

Brainstorming usually backfires… goodbye diversity of thought, hello groupthink vs. by developing and assessing ideas individually before choosing and elaborate them, teams can surface and advance possibilities that might not get attention otherwise- as usual, brainwriting yielded variance as well as volume.

Letting a thousand flowers bloom

His aspirations were high, but his expectations were modest-he know the odds were long.

Every failure followed by later success is a mark of a hidden potential.

An algorithm is an input to human judgement - not a substitute for it.

How they respond in a do-over is a more meaningful window into their character than how they handle the first try.

"I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out"

If you doubt yourself, shouldn't you also doubt your low opinion of yourself?

If you want to get it right, it has to first feel wrong.

Demonstrate that honesty is the highest expression of loyalty.

Our deepest reserves of resilience come from knowing that other people are counting on us.