I CAN SPEAK

Essay

I can speak English. But, I had to say I can’t in the last workshop.
Because I didn’t want to be assessed my English level.

I didn’t want to release my essay to the public. 
Because I always think my writing is not as good as a writing expert.

Many people around me used to say that I am a passionate, smart, diligent, humble, and strong but I don’t think so. 
Because I always struggle against laziness, unwiseness, trickiness, arrogance, and fragile me inside of me.  

During the session, I realized there has been another goblin inside of me.
He likes to bully me. He says I can’t.
I didn’t know his existence. It means I didn’t know even my real existence.
Who am I? What kind of person I am? Where I am going to? Where is the end of the road?
His bullying and my weakness harass me for a long time.

Fortunately and finally, I found him and knew how to avoid him.
It was simple. Just recognized that we are the same person. We have been together. 
After I acknowledged him, I can begin to forgive him.
He is me. I can forgive me and hug me tightly.

That’s one small step for my mind, one giant leap for my existence.
Now I can speak out that I met new me. 

He has been stood here since I didn’t realize.
Now I can speak. Now I have confidence. 

And now I overcome my low self-esteem finally.
Now I am free.

I am still weak and vulnerable. But everyone is so.
I can speak English and read my essay without any hesitation.
It doesn’t matter that you will clap your hands or not after finish reading this essay.
Because the purpose of my life is not to be assessed by others.
I am the owner of my own life. I am so proud of me.
Finally, I found real me. Not fake me.

Thank you, my fellow coaches.