What was your favorite story

when you were young?

Today’s Topic

What was your favorite story when you were young? Tell me the story briefly.

1.내가 쓴 글

It was a rainy day. I was a junior at University. I was waiting for the bus on the road and I saw him. He was just passing through me with a lady who had very long hair. I was surprised and very disappointed because I was good in the mind of him. I never thought he would have a girlfriend. But they didn't look familiar. They might have seen each other at first at that time. He was the chairman of the Circle very famous for the students. He was very kind to me when I had visited there for the first time as a newcomer. So I thought he liked me. Was it only my thinking? Might he see me? I pretended not to see him on the road. If he was alone, I might have said hello to him. But he was with a long-haired lady. I didn't want to let him know I was there. Later he said to me that he saw me on that road. He had pretended not to see me either because he was on a blind date. It was the start of our relationship to love each other.

2. 첨삭되어 온 글

It was a rainy day. I was a junior at University(the university). I was waiting for the bus on the road and I saw him. He was just passing through me with a lady who had very long hair. I was surprised and very disappointed because I was good in the mind of him(thought of him good). I never thought he would have a girlfriend. But they didn't look familiar. They might have seen each other at first at that time. He was the chairman of the Circle(, which is) very famous for the students.

He was very kind to me when I had visited there for the first time as a newcomer. So I thought he liked me. Was it only my thinking?Might(Would) he see me? I pretended not to see him on the road. If he was alone, I might(would) have said hello to him. But he was with a long-haired lady. I didn't want to let him know I was there. Later he said to me that he saw me on that road. He had pretended not to see me either because he was on a blind date. It was the start of our relationship to love(of loving) each other.

3. 내가 기억해야될 것들

1) 쓸데없이 대문자를 쓰지 않는다. 그리고 관사를 붙인다.

I was a junior at the university.

2) 간단하게 쓰자.

I was surprised and very disappointed because I thought of him good.

3) 별로 중요치않은 부가적인 설명은 콤마와 함께 which 를 쓴다.

He was the chairman of the Circle, which is very famous for the students.

4) 그가 나를 보았을까? 거기 May 를 생각해 그걸 과거형으로 만들어 Might 를 썼는데 아닌가 보다. 그냥 외우자. 그가 나를 보았을까? 이럴때 would를 쓰는구나. 외우자. 파이팅!!! 하하

Would he see me?

5) 그 유명한 우드가정법 아니던가. 하하

그가 혼자였다면 난 그에게 인사했을 텐데. 이런 때 반드시 would를 쓴다!

If he was alone, I would have said hello to him.

6) of를 한 문장 안에 여러번 쓰는 것을 절대 두려워말자.

It was the start of our relationship of loving each other.

4. 그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트

Hi! Thank you for reaching Step 4!

Your good efforts are evident in your writing! The ideas described are easy to understand and the words are appropriate for the topic. Despite a few mistakes, we are glad to see your improvement. Just make sure to remember a few corrections to polish your writing. Keep exploring words and sentences. Fighting! ^^

Grammar Tip:

*Using “that” Vs. “which”

That - limits the meaning of the word it modifies and is important to get the meaning of the sentence. Since it contains important information, it is not set off with commas:

I like the bag that my father gave me.

Which - When the clause contains unimportant or additional information, it can be set off with commas. If you remove a clause withwhich from a sentence, the meaning does not change significantly.

My bag, which is expensive, got wet because of the rain.

My bag got wet because of the rain.

호홋 좀더 윤기가 자르르 흐르게 글을 써보라. 넵 노력하겠습니다.

that 을 쓸 때와 which 를 쓸 때.

That- 수식하는 단어만을 한정한다. 문장의 뜻을 얻는게 중요하다. 그러므로 이것은 중요한 정보를 포함한다. 콤마를 쓰지 않는다.

I like th bag that my father gave me.

아하. 단어를 확실히 한정할 때. 아주 특별한 뜻을 포함할 때. 콤마를 쓰지않고 서식하는 것만. 즉 나는 가방을 좋아한다. 어떤 가방이냐. 나의 아버지가 준 가방.

Which- 별로 중요하지도 않고 부가적인 정보가 들어있을 때 콤마와 함께 쓴다. 이 문장을 뺀다고 해도 심각한 문장 훼손이 전혀 없는.

My bag, which is expensive, got wet because of the rain.

My bag got wet because of the rain.

아하. 매우 비싼 내 가방이 비때문에 젖었다.

내 가방이 비때문에 젖었다. 메인 흐름엔 which 문장을 뺀다고 해도 전혀 지장이 없다. 아하.

modify: 바꾸다. 수정하다. 한정하다. 수식하다.

5. 첨삭 받은 대로 다시 고쳐 쓴 글

It was a rainy day. I was a junior at the university. I was waiting for the bus on the road and I saw him. He was just passing through me with a lady who had very long hair. I was surprised and very disappointed because I thought of him good. I never thought he would have a girlfriend. But they didn't look familiar. They might have seen each other at first at that time. He was the chairman of the Circle, which is very famous for the students.

He was very kind to me when I had visited there for the first time as a newcomer. So I thought he liked me. Was it only my thinking? Would he see me? I pretended not to see him on the road. If he was alone, I would have said hello to him. But he was with a long-haired lady. I didn't want to let him know I was there. Later he said to me that he saw me on that road. He had pretended not to see me either because he was on a blind date. It was the start of our relationship of loving each other.

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