What is your favorite holiday?
Explain why.
Today’s Topic
What is your favorite holiday? Explain why.
1. 내가 쓴 글
It was the summer vacation of our honeymoon days. We didn't have our child yet, so we could have the time only ourselves both of us. At that time we were working at the company so we tried many ways to get the same days of vacation. Finally, we succeed to get same-day vacations even though we were at different companies. Anyway, we were so excited to get on vacation but we didn't want to move or go out very busily. We were so tired of doing work at the company that we really wanted to take a rest during our holidays. When we got the vacation we went to the bookstore where we can borrow books with money, because at that time, there were no many libraries we could easily borrow books as now. But at that time there were so many bookstores where we could borrow books at cheap prices. We borrowed as many books as possible. We started reading books with our holidays' beginning. We spent those days only reading. For the meal, we had decided to let the person who couldn't endure hunger cook. I could endure it so well that he had to cook.
2. 첨삭되어 온 글
It was the summer vacation of(during) our honeymoon days. We didn't have our child yet, so we could have the(all our) time only (to) ourselves both of us(X). At that time we were working at the company so we tried many ways to get the same days of vacation. Finally, we succeed to get same-day vacations even though we were at different companies. Anyway, we were so excited to get(have) on(our) vacation(,) but we didn't want to move or go out very busily(OR: hastily). We were so tired of doing work(working) at the company(each of our workplaces) that we really wanted to take a rest during our holidays(days-off). When we got the(to our) vacation(,) we went to the bookstore where we can borrow books with money(BETTER: rent books), (X) because at that time, there were no(not as) many libraries we could easily borrow books as now. But at that time there were so many bookstores where we could borrow books at cheap prices. We borrowed as many books as possible. We started reading books with(at) our holidays' beginning(the beginning of our day-off). We spent those days only reading. For the meal, we had decided to let the person who couldn't endure (their) hunger cook. I could endure it(mine) so well that he had to cook.
3. 내가 기억해야 할 것들
It was the summer vacation of(during) our honeymoon days.
신혼시절 여름휴가 이럴 때는 of가 아니라 during를 쓰는구나.
We didn't have our child yet, so we could have the(all our) time only (to) ourselves both of us(X).
오호 all our time to ourselves. 아하. 그리고 뒤에 both of us는 필요 없구나. 아하 훨씬 세련된 표현이다. We could have all our time only to ourselves.
Anyway, we were so excited to get(have) on(our) vacation(,) but we didn't want to move or go out very busily(OR: hastily).
get이 아니라 have를 쓰고 목적 어니까 쓸데없이 전치사를 쓸 필요가 없구나 하하 그리고 but 앞에 콤마 써주어야지! 그렇지! 급히 서둘러서 성급하게라는 단어를 몰라 바쁘게 busily를 썼더니 좋은 단어가 있었구나. 그래. hastily.
We were so tired of doing work(working) at the company(each of our workplaces) that we really wanted to take a rest during our holidays(days-off).
굳이 doing work라고 할 필요가 없구나. 그렇지. 그냥 working이라고 하면 되지. 나도 참. 아하 at the company라고 하면 꼭 같은 회사에서 일하는 것 같겠구나. 그러니 each of ourworkplaces라고 써주면 훨씬 좋겠구나. 오케이. 아하 이럴 땐 holidays 가 아니라 days-off라고 해야 하는구나. 그렇다면? 그래 이참에 휴일들을 모두 정리해보자.
Vacation: 일을 하지 않아도 급료가 나오는 연간 휴일. 여름휴가 같은 거.
Holiday: 법정공휴일. 미국에선 크리스마스나 부활주일.
Leave: 직장에서 얻은 유급휴가. 연차 Annual Leave, 월차 Monthly leave, 병가 Sick Leave
Day Off: 일주일 중 이틀 재량껏 쉬는 회사라면 그 이틀 안 가는 날이 day off
When we got the(to our) vacation(,) we went to the bookstore where we can borrow books with money(BETTER: rent books), (X) because at that time, there were no(not as) many libraries we could easily borrow books as now.
When we got the vacation이라고 썼는데 그게 아니라 get to를 써줘야 하는구나. 요렇게. get to our vacation. 하하 이것 너무 웃긴다. 돈으로 책을 빌릴 수 있는 곳이라고 썼더니 rent를 써서 간단하게 바꿔왔다. 음. borrow와 rent의 차이점을 확실히 알자꾸나.
borrow: 빌리다 borrow - borrowed - borrowed
lend: 빌려주다 lend - lent - lent
공짜로 무언가를 빌릴 때는 borrow 사용료를 내고 빌리는 것들은 rent 아하~
We started reading books with(at) our holidays' beginning(the beginning of our day-off).
휴가가 시작될 때 with가 아니라 at! 그리고 이런 휴가는 holidays가 아니라 day-off 구나. 이렇게. We started reading books at the beginning of our day-off. 아하.
For the meal, we had decided to let the person who couldn't endure (their) hunger cook. I could endure it(mine) so well that he had to cook.
그냥 hunger가 아니라 their hunger로 해야 하는구나. 오호 그러므로 it이 아니라 mine 이 되는 거고. 오케이.
4. 첨삭받은 대로 다시 쓴 글
It was the summer vacation during our honeymoon days. We didn't have our child yet, so we could have all our time only to ourselves. At that time we were working at the company so we tried many ways to get the same days of vacation. Finally, we succeed to get same-day vacations even though we were at different companies. Anyway, we were so excited to have our vacation, but we didn't want to move or go out very hastily. We were so tired of working at each of our workplaces that we really wanted to take a rest during our days-off. When we got to our vacation, we went to the bookstore where we can rent books because at that time, there were not as many libraries we could easily borrow books as now. But at that time there were so many bookstores where we could borrow books at cheap prices. We borrowed as many books as possible. We started reading books at the beginning of our day-off. We spent those days only reading. For the meal, we had decided to let the person who couldn't endure their hunger cook. I could endure mine so well that he had to cook.
5. 그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트
Thank you for completing Step 4. You did a good job in terms of writing mainly relevant details. Don't be discouraged about the corrections. Anything can be learned. So try to study the corrections we made and apply them to your next writing. We look forward to your next essays!
그럴 리가요. 고쳐주신 게 감사할 뿐이죠~ 넵! 잘 기억하여 다음엔 틀리지 않도록 노력하겠습니다.
(사진:꽃뜰)