I have friends who are the mothers of the students who have been in same high school with my younger son(my son's high school schoolmates).
우리 아들 학교 다닐 때 같이 다닌 애들의 엄마들을 나름 풀어썼는데 요런 간단한 방법이. 하하.
my son's high school schoolmates
the mothers of my son's high school schoolmates
When(X) we(We) met for the first time was(X) asthe(X) members of (the) school steering committee.
우리가 처음 만난 건 학교 임원으로서였다. 구구절절이 썼건만 그것 역시 요렇게 깔끔하게.
We met for the first time as members of the school steering committee.
the를 members 앞이 아니라 members of the ~ 학교 임원 앞에 붙여야 하는구나.
Our(Even though our) sons already graduated the(from) school, but(X) we, the mothers of them(their mothers,) kept(have kept) meeting once a month since then for almost 17 years.
애들은 학교를 이미 졸업했지만 엄마들은 계속 만남을 이어오고 있다. 그래서 졸업했지만 그러나~ 를 썼는데 이럴 때 Even though를 쓰는구나. but을 없애고. 아하.
Even though our sons already graduated from school, we, their mothers, have kept meeting once a month since then for almost 17 years.
학교 졸업했다에 정관사를 붙였는데 거긴 필요가 없구나. 대신 그 학교를 졸업했다에 from을 써야 하는구나.
graduated from school
하핫, 그들의 엄마들이라고 the mothers of them...이라고 썼더니 간략히 their mothers라고 고쳐왔다. 하하 그렇지 그들의 엄마들... their 가 있는데. 푸하하하
만남을 계속 해왔다엔 당연히 현재 완료형으로 해야지. 어쩌자고 과거를 턱 하니 써놓았을꼬.
have kept meeting.
Our sons who are now work(working) atthe(X) company(companies) laugh when we talk about our meeting.
지금은 회사에서 일하고 있는 아들들... 요건 또 요렇게 산뜻하게. 일하고 있으니 현재 진행을 쓰고 그리고 일반적인 회사니까 the를 붙이지 않는다. 아하. Our sons who are now working at companies
How(No matter) long days(years) passed after we graduated!(,) How good your relationship is(your relationship remains to be good)!
우리 졸업하고 얼마나 많은 세월이 흘렀는데! 엄마들 관계 너무 좋아요! 요걸 두 개의 문장으로 만들었는데 아하 요렇게 간단하게 한 문장으로 만들었구나. 감동은 좀 덜한 것 같은데. 푸하하하 그래도 첨삭해준 걸 익히도록 하자. No matter long years passed after we graduated, your relationship remains to be good.
We have met(meet) once a month at the Restaurant(a restaurant,) andwe have stayed(stay) at Hotel(a hotel) once a year to talk more.
앗. 계속 만나왔다니까 여기야말로 현재 완료형을 썼건만 요긴 또 과거형으로 고쳐왔네. 아니 현재형이구나. 그냥 한 달에 한 번씩 만난다이니까 굳이 완료형이 아니라 현재형으로 쓰는 거구나. We meet once a month... 지금으로 끝난 게 아니라 앞으로도 계속 한 달에 한번 만날 거니까 완료형이 아니라 현재형을 쓰는 건가보다. 그렇지.
음식점에서 만나는 것 역시 일반적인 음식점을 말하는 거니까 여긴 the가 아니라 a 가 들어가야 하는구나. 아, 언제나 어려운 정관사 부정관사. 그리고 왠지 이 단어는 대문자로 써야 할 것만 같은데 그거 아니지. 소문자로. 푸하하하 a restaurant
호텔도 꼭 대문자를 써야 할 것만 같은. 그리고 대문자를 쓰면 관사를 안 붙여도 될 것만 같은 요 심보는 무엇일꼬. 소문자로 쓰고 부정관사를 붙인다. a hotel
일 년에 한 번 하는 행사라면 완료형이 아닌 현재형! we stay at a hotel once a year to talk more
It was right that time last Friday. We stayed in a big hotel and talked so much. The secretary of our group prepared a lot of deliciousthings(BETTER: foodstuff) such as lots of fruit, beer, wine(,) and(X) cake(,) etc.
맛있는 것들... delicious foodstuff라고 쓰는구나. 아하.
끝에 etc. 가 들어갈 때는 마지막 순간까지 콤마를 써야 하는구나. 콤마 콤마 콤마 그리고 마지막 전에 앤드를 쓰는 건 etc가 없을 때만 해당되는가 보다. 하하.
We ate delicious food and chatted all night. The next day we couldn't even remember what we talked about. We laughed and said(,) "we(We) did a true chatting(truly chatted). (It was) Useless(useless) but Necessary(necessary)." The laughter we had that night was amazing. With that power, we decided to live another year well.
따옴표 문장 앞엔 콤마를 붙이자.
따옴표 안의 문장 시작은 대문자로! 그렇지.
쓸데없이 명사화하지 말고 동사 그대로 쓰자. truly chatted.
함부로 줄이지도 말자. It was useless but necessary.
2. 첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글
I have friends who are the mothers of my son's high school schoolmates. We met for the first time as members of the school steering committee. Even though our sons already graduated from school, we, their mothers, have kept meeting once a month since then for almost 17 years. Our sons who are now working at companies laugh when we talk about our meeting. No matter long years passed after we graduated, your relationship remains to be good!
We meet once a month at a restaurant, and stay at a hotel once a year to talk more. It was right that time last Friday. We stayed in a big hotel and talked so much. The secretary of our group prepared a lot of delicious foodstuff such as lots of fruit, beer, wine, cake, etc. We ate delicious food and chatted all night. The next day we couldn't even remember what we talked about. We laughed and said, "We truly chatted. It was useless but necessary." The laughter we had that night was amazing. With that power, we decided to live another year well.
3. 그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트
Thank you for doing Step 4. I must say that this writing is commendable, especially in terms of flow and coherence. However, it would be necessary for you to learn more about vocabulary and better expressions. Kindly study the suggestions we offered for your practice. We know you can do much better next time. Have a great day! :)