What do you spend

the most money on?

Today’s Topic

What do you spend the most money on? e.g. food, clothing, saving, etc.

<내가 쓴 글>

I spend the most money on playing golf. Usually the prices of golf wears are very expensive. Therefore I usually use the outlet mall where has many discounts. I tried many ways to buy golf wears in cheap prices in outlet mall or on line internet mall where does 50 % discounts. Mostly I spend my time to look out the place where I can buy more cheap prices than the place where I can buy clothes which fit beautifully to me. My younger brother who is very fashionable doesn't. He doesn't care about the price but care only it fits him or not. If the clothes make him good, then he buys it, whether it is too expensive or too cheap. It's more important for him that it fits him well or not. I think it is good way to buy the clothes. He doesn't have many clothes, but whenever he wears his clothes, he looks so nice. In my case, I have so many clothes, but whenever I play golf I have to spend much time to choose clothes what I wear. Because there are no clothes that I want to wear among such many clothes.

<첨삭되어 온 글>

 I spend the most money on playing golf. Usually(,) the prices of golf wears (attire) are very expensive. Therefore(,) I usually use the outlet mall where has (visit a mall outlet where there are) many discounts. I tried many ways to buy golf wears in (attire at) cheap prices in outlet mall (a mall outlet) or on line internet (or an online shopping) mall where does 50 % discounts.

 Mostly I spend my time to look out (I mostly spend my time looking around) the place where I can buy more cheap (at cheaper) prices than the place where I can buy clothes which fit beautifully to me (that fit me better). My younger brother(,) who is very fashionable(,) doesn't. He doesn't care about the price(;) but care (he cares) only it fits him or not. If the clothes make him (look) good, then he buys it (them), whether it is too expensive or too cheap. It's more important for him that (whether) it fits him well or not. I think it is (a) good way to buy the(X) clothes. He doesn't have many clothes, but whenever he wears his clothes, he looks so nice.

 In my case, I have so many clothes, but whenever I play golf(,) I have to spend (so) much time to choose clothes what (choosing the clothes I want to) I wear. Because (wear because) there are no clothes that I want to wear among such many clothes. (isn't anything I'd like to wear among all the clothes I have.)

<내가 기억해야 할 것들>

1. I spend the most money on playing golf. Usually(,) the prices of golf wears (attire) are very expensive.

Usually 뒤에 콤마.

골프웨어 하니까 그냥 wears를 썼더니 복장이라는 뜻의 attire로 바꾸어 왔다. 그러니까 우린 골프웨어라고 하지만 골프 복장하면 golf attire라고 해야 하는가 보다.

attire 복장

2. Therefore(,) I usually use the outlet mall where has (visit a mall outlet where there are) many discounts.

Therefore 뒤에 콤마.

하하 우리가 보통 아웃렛몰 하니까 나 역시 outlet mall이라고 썼는데 그거 아니다. 하하 a mall outlet이라고 해야 한다. 기억하자. a mall outlet 아웃렛 뜻이 모길래? 아하 할인점. 어쨌든 외우자. a mall outlet

outlet 할인점

아웃렛몰을 이용한다 해서 use를 썼는데 아니다. visit를 쓰네. 그치. 그 쇼핑몰을 방문하는 거니까. visit a mall outlet

할인 많이 해주는 곳이라고 해서 where has many discounts라고 했는데 하하 이 얼마나 콩글리쉬적이냐. 제대로 하려면  there are를 써줘야 하는구나. where there are many discounts. 아하.

3. I tried many ways to buy golf wears in (attire at) cheap prices in outlet mall (a mall outlet) or on line internet (or an online shopping) mall where does 50 % discounts.

그래. 골프웨어는 이제부터 golf attire로.

싼 값으로 해서 in cheap prices라고 했는데 at이구나. at cheap prices. 외우자. in 이 아니라 at이다. at cheap prices.

우리말처럼 아웃렛몰이라고 하면 안 된다. a mall outlet 임을 꼭 기억하자. 파이팅. 하하

푸하하하 온라인 인터넷 몰이라고 생각나는 대로 적었더니 정확환 명칭은 요렇게. an online shopping mall 오케이. online 은 붙여 쓸  것.

4. Mostly I spend my time to look out (I mostly spend my time looking around) the place where I can buy more cheap (at cheaper) prices than the place where I can buy clothes which fit beautifully to me (that fit me better).

쓸데없이 부사를 앞에 빼지 말자. I mostly spend my time...

찾다를 look out으로 했는데 look around를 써야 하는구나. 무슨 차이일까? 뒤적뒤적. 앗. look out은 찾다가 아니라 조심해라! 주의해라! watch out과 같은 말이네. 하하. 대충 비슷하다고 막 쓸 건 아니구나. look around가 바로바로.. 을 찾아 돌아다니다였어. 아하. 기억하자. 싼 데를 찾아 돌아다니다. look around.

look out 조심해라! 주의해라!

look around.. 을 찾아 돌아다니다.

more cheap prices가 아니라 cheaper prices

보다 싼 값에 사는 것은 가격이 목적어가 될 수 없으니 그래. buy at cheaper prices 가 되어야지.

내게 보다 더 예쁘게 어울리는... 복잡하게 썼는데 요렇게 간단하게 되는구나. clothes that fit me better. 아 얼마나 세련된 표현인가. 하하 which fit beautifully to me 무언가 정말 한국적 영어 냄새가 퐁퐁. which 가 아니라 that으로 하고 그리고 fit me better... 아, 얼마나 간결하고 세련됐냐. 하하. 기억하자. clothes that fit me better

5.My younger brother(,) who is very fashionable(,) doesn't.

관계대명사 시작과 끝 모두 콤마 써 줄 것. 

6. He doesn't care about the price(;) but care (he cares) only it fits him or not.

오호. 이럴 때 쎄미 콜론을.

but care 가 아니라 아예 주어를 다시 써줘야 하는구나. he cares

7. If the clothes make him (look) good, then he buys it (them), whether it is too expensive or too cheap.

좋아 보이게 만드는 옷 해서 the clothes make him good이라고 했더니 여기 동사를 써줘야 하는구나. the clothes make him look good...  아하 좋게 보이게 만드는.. 그치 좋게 보이는 거니까 look을 써주는 게 맞겠구나.

clothes를 복수로 써놓고 it으로 받다니 them이어야지. 조금만 신경 쓰면 될 것을.

8. It's more important for him that (whether) it fits him well or not.

아하. 요럴 때 whether 가 오는 거구나. 그치 좀 외웠냐 whether or not! 바로 요런 때 쓰는 거였어. It's more important for him whether it fits him well or not.

9.  I think it is (a) good way to buy the(X) clothes.

관사 붙이는 것 잊지 말 것! a good way.

그렇다고 함부로 아무 데나 관사 붙이는 거 아님. 아, 어려운 관사. buy clothes.

10. In my case, I have so many clothes, but whenever I play golf(,) I have to spend (so) much time to choose clothes what (choosing the clothes I want to) I wear. Because (wear because) there are no clothes that I want to wear among such many clothes. (isn't anything I'd like to wear among all the clothes I have.)

문장 속에서 한 문장 끝날 때 콤마 쓰기. but I play golf,

아하. 여기선 그냥 much time이 아니라 so much time

옷을 고르는데... 해서 to 부정사를 썼는데 아니고 동명사를 써야 하네. so much time choosing the clothes I want to wear

함부로 문장을 끊지 말자. I have to spend so much time choosing the clothes I want to wear because there isn't anything I'd like to wear among all the clothes I have. 이 문장을 잘 익히도록 하자.

<첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글>

I spend the most money on playing golf. Usually, the prices of golf attire are very expensive. Therefore, I usually visit a mall outlet where there are many discounts. I tried many ways to buy golf attire at cheap prices in a mall outlet or an online shopping mall where does 50 % discounts.

 I mostly spend my time looking around the place where I can buy at cheaper prices than the place where I can buy clothes that fit me better. My younger brother, who is very fashionable, doesn't. He doesn't care about the price; he cares only it fits him or not. If the clothes make him look good, then he buys them, whether it is too expensive or too cheap. It's more important for him whether it fits him well or not. I think it is a good way to buy clothes. He doesn't have many clothes, but whenever he wears his clothes, he looks so nice.

 In my case, I have so many clothes, but whenever I play golf, I have to spend so much time choosing the clothes I want to wear because there isn't anything I'd like to wear among all the clothes I have.

<그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트>

 Good day! Thank you for taking the time to accomplish this writing. We see your effort in conveying your thoughts as much as you can. We commend you on your effort in writing. There are just a few revisions to make your sentences clearer. Keep in mind the changes that were done in this essay so that you can avoid making the same errors next time. Nevertheless, we are here to continue helping you. Keep practicing. Good luck!

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(사진: 친구 H)