What impact has the Internet
had on your life?
Today’s Topic
What impact has the Internet had on your life?
<내가 쓴 글>
I didn't have any opportunity to show my article to others before the internet. Therefore, I didn't know how well I wrote articles. The internet made me know what I really could do well. I liked reading and writing, but I didn't know it was because of my talent. If I knew it before, I would major in Korean literature to increase my talent more. When I started to write articles at internet, many people liked them so much. It was a kind of culture shock for me. What happened to me? I was so happy to see subscribers increasing every day. I wrote more and more. Nowadays I am doing well as a writer in brunch, which is one of S.N.S. (Social Networking Service) platform. Nowadays it's my favorite thing to write articles about my life in brunch. I appreciate the Internet because it made me live the 2nd life very well. I have so many things to do with the internet. It makes me happier than before when there is not yet the internet in the world. I can share my thought with many people and I can see many styles of life through the internet.
<첨삭되어 온 글>
I didn't have any opportunity to show my article to others before the internet. Therefore, I didn't know how well I wrote articles. The internet made me know what I really could do well. I liked reading and writing, but I didn't know it was because of my talent. If I knew it before, I would (have) major (majored) in Korean literature to increase my talent more. (further enhance my talent.)
When I started to write articles at (on the) internet, many people liked them so much. It was a kind of culture shock for me. What happened to me? I was so happy to see subscribers increasing every day. I wrote more and more. Nowadays(,) I am doing well as a writer in(on) brunch (Brunch), which is one of S.N.S. (Social Networking Service) platform (BETTER: a social media platform). Nowadays (These days,) it's my favorite thing to write articles about my life in brunch (on Brunch).
I appreciate the Internet (internet) because it made me live the 2nd life very well (a second life). I have so many things to do with the internet. It makes me happier than before when there is not yet the internet in the world (when the internet didn't exist yet). I can share my thought (thoughts) with many people(,) and I can see many styles of life through the internet.
<내가 기억해야 할 것들>
1. If I knew it before, I would (have) major (majored) in Korean literature to increase my talent more. (further enhance my talent.)
가정법엔 과거라고 들은 것 같아 그냥 major를 쓸까 하다가 would를 넣었는데 그게 아니라 would 뒤에 완료형을 넣어야 했다. If I knew it before, I would have majored in Korean literature...
나의 자질을 좀 더 늘리기 위하여... 하하 그래서 써놓은 increase my talent more... 무언가 어색하다. 첨삭되어온 것은 세련된 느낌. further enhance my talent. 그렇지. 나의 재능을 좀 더 강화시키기 위하여. 그럴 땐 more 가 아니라 further를 쓰고... increase는 수량적으로 늘어나는 거겠지. 무언가 강화시키는 건 further enhance... 요걸 꼭 기억하자.
2. When I started to write articles at (on the) internet, many people liked them so much.
인터넷에 쓰는 게 at 이 아니라 on the internet 해야 하는구나. 정관사 the를 붙여줄 것 인터넷 앞에. 그리고 on이라는 것 기억하자. on the internet!!!
3. Nowadays(,) I am doing well as a writer in(on) brunch (Brunch), which is one of S.N.S. (Social Networking Service) platform (BETTER: a social media platform).
Nowadays 뒤에 반드시 콤마. 잊지 말자.
on the internet 이듯이 브런치 역시 on Brunch. 아하 그런데 여기선 대문자를 써줘야 하는구나. on Brunch.
SNS platform 보다는 a social media platform 이 나은 표현이구나. 오케이. a social media platform.
4. Nowadays (These days,) it's my favorite thing to write articles about my life in brunch (on Brunch).
these days는 과거와 비교한 현재 진행 중인 상태. 요사이 요새 요즘에는... 요즘 무슨 일 하세요? 그런 거. nowadays는 요즘은, 오늘날에는.. 과거와 대비한 현재 상태. 요즘 애들은 책 보다 인터넷을 더 좋아한다 같은 거. 그러니까 위 3번의 경우 인터넷 없던 과거와 대비 인터넷을 한다니가 nowadays이고 여기서는 과거와 비교해 현재 인터넷을 많이 하고 있다는 이야기니까 these days가 되는구나.
on Brunch이다. 인터넷은 in이 아니라 on이라는 것. 브런치는 대문자로 써줄 것. on Brunch
5. I appreciate the Internet (internet) because it made me live the 2nd life very well (a second life).
인터넷 쓸데없이 대문자로 쓰지 말 것. the internet.
제2인생을 잘 살게 해 주었다고 해서 it made me live the 2nd life very well이라고 했는데 요걸 깡그리 없애고 it made me live a second life. 요렇게 했네. 하긴 그게 아주 간단하게 말이 되네. 제2 인생을 잘 살게 해 주었다가 아니라 제2 인생을 살게 해 주었다가 말이 되니까. 외우자.... it made me live a second life.
6. It makes me happier than before when there is not yet the internet in the world (when the internet didn't exist yet).
하하 인터넷이 있기 전이라고 구구절절이 썼구먼 요렇게 간단하게 되는구나. 외우자. It makes me happier than when the internet exist yet.
7. I can share my thought (thoughts) with many people(,) and I can see many styles of life through the internet.
생각을 나누다에서 복수를 써야 하는구나. I can share my thoughts...
and 앞에 콤마. I can share my thoughts iwth many people, and I can see many styles of life through the internet.
<그리고 딸려온 특별 멘트>
This is such an awesome entry! We are grateful for your enthusiastic attempt to complete this step. There were some lapses committed, but you were able to successfully deliver your ideas in English. You were able to write some good sentences, so we suggest considering the corrections well. We would like to read more of your entries, so keep writing! :)
넵. 계속 쓰겠습니다.
NOTES:
1. Observe consistent capitalization: internet.
internet 대문자로 쓰지 마라. 넵!
2. When talking about websites or applications, we use the preposition ON:
on Instagram
on Facebook
on Naver
아하. 웹사이트에 on을 쓰는군요. 기억하겠습니다. on the internet, on Brunch, on Instagram, on Facebook, on Naver...
3. SNS is not a common English term. Hence, we recommend using social media.
넵! SNS 대신에 social media!
<첨삭받은 대로 쓴 글>
I didn't have any opportunity to show my article to others before the internet. Therefore, I didn't know how well I wrote articles. The internet made me know what I really could do well. I liked reading and writing, but I didn't know it was because of my talent. If I knew it before, I would have majored in Korean literature to further enhance my talent.
When I started to write articles on the internet, many people liked them so much. It was a kind of culture shock for me. What happened to me? I was so happy to see subscribers increasing every day. I wrote more and more. Nowadays, I am doing well as a writer on Brunch, which is a social media platform. These days, it's my favorite thing to write articles about my life on Brunch.
I appreciate the internet because it made me live a second life. I have so many things to do with the internet. It makes me happier than when the internet didn't exist yet. I can share my thoughts with many people, and I can see many styles of life through the internet.
(사진: 꽃 뜰)