미국 유학생활을 돌아보며
첫 번째 이야기
2004년부터 2011년까지 약 7년을 미국에서 살았다. 고등학교 3년, 대학 4년을 미국에서 보낸 후, 옥수수밭 투성이인 시골이 지겹고 가족들과 떨어져 사는 것이 외로워 졸업 후 도망치듯 귀국을 했다. 그 이후로는 미국 유학시절에 대해 딱히 되돌아본 적은 없다. 좋은 기억도 있었지만 힘들었던 기억도 많았고, 미국의 아이비리그나 유명 사립대를 졸업한 것이 아니라 내 스스로 성공한 유학생인가? 에 대한 의문이 있었는지도 모르겠다. (지금은 내가 졸업한 학교에 자부심이 있습니다만…살아보니 대학 별거 없더군요.)
시간이 많아진 요즘 옛날생각(학창시절부터 사회초년생 시절까지)을 종종 하게 되는데, 왜 그 때는 그 순간의 소중함을 몰랐는지 하는 후회가 된다. 알았더라면 그 시간들을 더 의미있고 감사한 마음으로 보낼 수 있지 않았을까. 7년이라는 시간은 힘들었지만 말 그대로 정말 “아름답고 다시 오지 않을” 시간이었다. 시간이 많이 지나고 지금에 와서 되돌아보니 아름다워 보이는 거일 수도 있지만 말이다^^ 아이러니하게도 코로나 사태 이후 해외여행이 사실상 불가능해지니 가장 가고 싶은 곳도 미국이다.
미국생활을 되돌아보며 영어로 끄적인 에세이를 브런치에 올려보려고 한다.
After eight years of working in human resources for a major Korean pharmaceutical company, there are still unknowns in my life. Looking back helps me gain perspective.
It is important to start at the beginning. A monumental life changing experience for me was spending my formative years away from my family. Essentially living on my own. I went to the United States after I finished my freshman year of high school in Korea. Studying abroad was part choice, but mostly my parents bidding- though I was happy because going to the U.S. meant I did not have to go to so many hagwons (extracurricular academic classes). I was young and not thinking deeply. Before going to study abroad I was not a straight A student. I got along with friends, did all my homework, and was attentive in classes. Teachers liked me because I was generally a pleasant student. However, I didn't really try hard to get good grades. I did what I had to do and that was all. My parents did not push me to study and they never bothered me about my grades. They trusted me and tried to give as many opportunities as they could for my sister and I. My dad always told me that everyone has their own timing and he thought I was kind of a late bloomer. They might have been worried about me when comparing me to my sister, who was one of the top students in her grade. But they never voiced their concerns and I respect them for that.
I can still remember my first day in the U.S., even though it was 16 years ago. I took a plane on Christmas Eve, 2004. I had two huge bags and I recall the sad expression on mom's face at the airport. I was not sad because I did not know how hard it was to live without my parents in foreign country. I arrived in Chicago but my flight to Ohio was delayed due to heavy snow in Ohio. I had to stay a couple hours until my flight was cleared for takeoff. I barely spoke English and was too nervous to be scared. The reality finally sank in, I was in the U.S. and everyone spoke English and all the announcements in the airport were in English. The restaurants and shops were strange. I had never felt this way before in my life. Everything was so new. After a couple hours I landed in Cleveland safely. I vividly remember the first sight of Hudson, my new home. Hudson is a small beautiful town in Northeast Ohio. Many houses were decorated with lights, Santa figures, and various adornments related to Christmas. Also, the whole town was covered with snow. What had I gotten myself into.
To be continued…
