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March 2019
Audible 30-day Free trial로 읽은 책. <Lean in>으로 유명한 Sheryl Sandberg와 <The Originals>의 저자 Adam Grant 교수가 함께 쓴 책. Margaret에게 선물하고 싶어서 미리 읽어본 거였는데 생각했던 방향과 조금 달라서 선물은 하지 않았다.
오디오북과 함께 읽은 덕분에 원서를 쭉쭉 읽어나가는 신나는 경험을 했지만 내용이 너무 슬퍼서 끝까지 읽지는 않았다. 아이러니하게도, 원서를 읽으며 슬픈 감정을 느껴서 기쁜 경험이었다.
FACING ADVERSITY, BUILDING RESILIENCE, AND FINDING JOY.
64 Self-confidence is critical to happiness and success. When we lack it, we dwell on our flaws. We fail to embrace new challenges and learn new skills. We hesitate to take even a small risks that can lead to a big opportunity.
67 Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said that life can only be understood backward but it must be lived forward. Journaling helped me make sense of the past and rebuild my self-confidence to navigate the present and future. Then Adam suggested that I should also write down three things that I'd done well each day. ... But there is evidence that these lists help by focusing us on what psychologists call "small wins".
71 To help people suffering from deression after job loss, psychologists at the University of Michigan held weeklong workshops at churches, schools, libraries, and city halls. For four hours each morning, hundreds of unemployed people attended a program designed to build their job search confidence. They identified marketable skills and sources of job leads. They rehearsed interviews. They made a list of setbacks they might face and strategies for maintatining motivation. They found small wins. In the next two months, people who had participated in this program had a 20 percent greater chance of landing a new job. And for the next two years, they were more confident and more likely to stay employed. To be clear, no one is suggesting that self-confidence is a cure for unemployment; we need to provide education and support so people can find jobs and social insurance benefits to help then when they can't. But program like this can make a difference.
74 ... I do know what he wanted for our kids more than a good night's sleep. Integrity. Curiosity. Kindness. Love.
79 Nietzsche famously described personal strength as "what does not kill me makes me stronger." Tedeschi and Calhoun have a slightly softer take: "I am more vulnerable that I thought, but meh stronger than I ever imagined." When we face the slings and arrows of life, we are wounded and the scars stay with us. But we can walk away with greater internal resolve.
133 We're trying to get them to understand that it's actually a sign of strength to recognize when you don't have the skills to do something - and reach out for help. Wanting to improve is not a sign of weakness.
133 Shared stories are often created by rewriting old narratives and countering unfair stereotypes. In the United States and around the world, girls are often expected to be worse at math than boys. When college students were reminded of their gender before taking a math test, women performed 43 percent worse than men. When the exact same test was called a "problem-solving test" instead of a "math test," the gender gap in performance vanised. In another experiment, black students scored lower than white students after being told that a test would assess their verbal ability, but when ability wasn't mentioned, the race gap in performance disappeared.
Psychologists call this "stereotype threat": the fear of being reduced to a negative stereotype. That fear becomes a self-fulfilling prephecy when anxiety disrupts our thinking and causes us to conform to the stereotype. This effect undermines people of many races, religions, genders, sexual orientations, and backgrounds, and this is where the Possee Foundation rewrites the narrative. When Posse students arrive at college together, they create a different image on campus. In the words of one Posse alum, "The buzz around the school is that these Posse kids are cool and smart." Instead of being threatened by negative stereotypes, they are lifted by positive ones.
