[편지] Vera and funny girl.
Anni
1.
I'm so glad about your letter and all the changes you gonna go through soon. New environment, new people, new scenes, new meetings, new start. While I'm reading your letter, I thought about you sitting and writing a letter to me, who are still afraid of something, but at the same time trying to be whole-hearted in her own way. I like that you said there were always the right things to do at that time. I agree Anni.
I went to the cafe with Vera yesterday. We always talk a lot while we work together, but it was our first date out of the saveg cafe. I've been impressed a lot by her these days. Also I like her.
A regular costomer asked Vera who I am, and Vesa said, 'Karen's my friend.' I think we really became friends.
'Vera, if you can be born again, are you gonna have a family and three children again in your life?'
'I don't know Karen. I will just let the things happen and I will take it.'
She's born in countryside in South korea. Her parents were farmers. Her family wasn't rich, they're just happy with being together and not getting hungry. She has lots of good memories of her childhood.
She became a teacher. She met a guy whose writing was beautiful enough to attract her.
They exchanged tons of letters. She also enjoyed to talk with him. She said he made her laugh. Finally She fell in love with him so much that she wanna be with him, and they got married.
But after their marriage she suffered a lot from her husband's family. Her mother-in-law insisted her to have thier family religion. They asked lots of financial help from Vera and her husband. Even they didn't let her have her own time with her friends for she got married. She wanted to be helself, but her husband's conservative family asked her sacrify and obey to them. When her mother-in-law got sick, Vera had to quit her job and take care of her mother-in-law. (You know still Korean is really conservative society. But, In 1980s when she got married, our society never accepted diversity or rebellion. Women should keep quiet, follow husband, quit thier job for feeding husband, live with mother-in-law for couple of years, have babies.. or so.)
After her mother-in-law passed away, she pursuaded her husband to imigrate to Canada. At that time she had three children. She didn't want her children to grow up in Korean society. Moreover, she couldn't stand a dictationship and a patriarchal society anymore.
She is 57 years old now. It's her first time to do her own business. She's not that interested in making profit, not because that she is rich but she doesn't want to be obsessed only with money and work.
She is curious about the world, touched by beautiful heart, excited to make friends, happy to learn new things. She likes to watch movies. We recommend movies to each other, and I like the movies she likes. She has studied spanish for 5 years and she loves spanish culture a lot. She makes me wonder about south America. She still enjoy backpacking, and planning to do that. We both are so excited to talk about where to go while we cut veggies.
I feel like she is a different korean woman. Nomally Korean women just get used to follow what their husband or thier government's talking bout, like my mom does(you know I love my mom tho). But Vera complains about the ugly Korean culture, education, and politics. She talks about freedom, not about money. We can have a conversation about books and movies, not only about gossips.
'Vera, if you can be born again, are you gonna have a family and three children again in your life?'
I thought she would like to choose a totally different life, like enjoying a single life for travelling a lot, feeling enough freedom, not getting bothered by family members.
But she said she doesn't care what's coming to her life. When she met her husband, she loved him a lot, so she got married. After their marriage, she realized that the life with him wasn't like that she expected to be. But she went through and overcame all the difficulty, and now they became the best friends in thier life.
She raised three children. She knows that her first son is not happy with his life, but she also knows there's nothing she can do with it, so she just take it. (Fortunately, the other 2 children are happy ones.)
Maybe Anni, there's something in life which we can't choose, but we just have to let happen. The more important thing is how we gonna take it. Or whaterver it is, anyway take it. Eat it well.
She'd lived in a same country where I'd live before I left Korea, and I have many things in common with her(We graduated same university, she was also into theater, she was thinking about being a monk as well).
But we lived in different eras, so what she experienced in her life is totally different story from mine, and it makes me keep thinking about our society, culture, to the end, life.
I don't like any rules.
I don't like the idea that we should find out mate, get married, and have babies. I don't wanna call Jay husband for I don't like that vocabulary. Why do they wanna fix me? It's my personal choice. I don't care if they're confused or not. I don't wanna care about his family as well. There's too many strange cultures in South Korea, and it's suffocating! We still perform ancestral rites, but it's normally only for husband's side of ancestors. For that, the wife should make all food and do chores. What's it for? Why somebody should sacrify for the dead who are not even their ancestors? Fuck that.
My mom expects me to take care of her when she gets older. Most of Korean parents would have the same ideas about their children. They wanna get some sugar from their children' success or they don't know how to be an independent human beings. I'll definitely help her when my mom needs my hands, but she shouldn't rely on me.
I think I don't like too much things. I can keep saying what I don't like. (I wouldn't, don't worry,) Sometimes I have difficulty of being a member of society. When there are powerful groups in front of me, I just want to be far away from them and, to be a star shining from a distance.
For my life, I wanna be just funny girl.
2.
I enjoy the plant-based food I'm making and still inspired from plant-based diet. (Oh, by the way, after you go, I found quite a few vegan place here, and I'm so sorry not going there with you.) The chicken restaurant boss once said that I'm making my life more difficult as being a vegan, so she could't understand it. Maybe lots of people would think like she does. Yes, sometimes it's not easy to veganize, but I love the challenge. I feel like it's kinds of creative game.
I like working in the Saveg cafe. Actually our kitchen is limited, so we can't try to make many different types of food(and Vera doesn't like to make more jobs;). But still we're trying to do someting. We gonna do 'the pocket bowls', marinating tomatoes like tuna. And we will make sweet and spicy cold buckwheat noodles as well. I think Korean food is easily modified to plant-based meals.
I made tapioca pearls yesterday and it failed. I better off just buying it. I think we can do bubble teas in the future .
I really wanna use barista series milk, but we use supermarket brand non-dairy milk. For we are more focusing on vegan foods and there's not that many coffee costomers. The problem is the barista series are much more expansive.
I've been thinking about how to make this business prosper. Our location is not good, our kitchen is limited, out boss is not interested in getting busy... hahaha; But I'm passionate to try different menu, learn to cook and manage a cafe.(I might work kind of as manager after I come back from Korea.
We are so quite in the morning time, so I'd like to make sweet breakfast menu, like vegan waffle or something like that. I'd like to make special menu for a week or a month. I'd like to make a bigger sign for letting people notice that we are a cafe, for it's hard even to find our frontdoor...
If you have any good idea about plantbased things, please!
About Jay, he's still so cute to me.
There was dance, peppet and live music collaboration show in the Jazz dance building I go for dancing. I got two discounted tickets from my dance teacher, so went there with Jay. It was amazing show, and we both enjoyed a lot. But what makes me more excited was his reaction. You know that he's not that cheerful guy, but after the show he was really excited and said like, 'I like to have more chance to see this kinds of show with you. It touches my inside and gives me totally new sensation. Thank you'
Because the weather became warm in here, we went to the Crescent hill where people go for running and viewing the calgary city. The sun was beautiful, and the city view was good in there. All we did was just walking around, and he said, ' I feel so good to be here. I was little bit tired today, but suddenly I feel like that tiredness flied away. Let's come again, karen.'
I thank him to be grateful to small things. I feel like whenver I ask him to go somewhere or do something together, he really appreciate it. (Exception for my veganized cook.)
I'm often touched when he expresses his emotion. He's not good speaker or writer at all. But I think he is honest about his emotion.
Maybe Anni, all the relationship need respect, and sometimes the respect means making a distance. It's not like being formal or uncomfortable with them. It's more like not controlling others, so expecting as less as I can.
3.
Thank you for your letter. I can wait till you are ready for Kani's book club. (Again, what a cute bookclub name!) Don't worry about it. I'm still reading at one hundred years of solitude. Also I'll go to Korea and read some Korean books, so it might be better to take a break.
The citizen of the world, Anni, I like your portfolio. I think it's amazing, and also I feel like you are gonna make more amazing story in it. Thank you for me and Jay's photos again. You gave us unforgettable memory and we can now hold it with that photo. Most of all, I'm so happy that I have a cosmopolitan friend. Proud of you.
I'll see you soon maybe. I wanna see you more.
Thanks
Miss you Anni.
