Daughter told me she is lonely

영어인지 콩글리쉬인지....

I am a parent of dink family living in Seoul have 2 kids, First one is 8 years old boy, another one is 4 years old girl. My wife and I are going to work in the morning everyday and I am in charge of dropping my daughter to the kindergarten. It is around 7: 30 a.m. to get to kindergarten with my daughter. I think it is lucky to have such a kindergarten opening early in the morning at my village.

I should arrive in kindergarten by 7: 30 a.m. exactly not to be late to work and drive to the office by 8: 30 a.m. If I am late to kindergarten by 1~2 minutes , I am late to office too. I should watch my boss's angry face all day long. So every morning I am very nervous and feel pressed for time.

When I arrive in kindergarten, a teacher in her 50 always welcomes us. (But Sometimes she does not show up on time.) As soon as I hand over my daughter to a teacher, I say cliche to daughter. It is around 7:37 a.m. Soon I rush toward office to be able to get to office by 8:30 a.m.(It is about 1.5 miles from kindergarten to office and it takes about 40 ~ 50 minutes by car.)

"Have a good day with your friends and love and bless you" and

"Many thanks teacher"

My daughter enters into room taking teacher's hand and I am little bit relived then cause I finished my first errands of a day. I raise my left-hand to check time, it is 7:39 a.m. I hurl myself into a seat of car and accelerate it wishing no-traffic jam.

"Hurry up to the work."

My daughter is the first child who comes to kindergarten every day. She stays there alone for 1 and a half hour until her friends come to kindergarten. Normally her peers come to kindergarten around 9:00 a.m. She should be there alone until her friends come to.

I thought so far that she was used to loneliness, because she had been alone there for 2 years since her brother had entered to elementary school 2 years ago. Both of two kids had been staying together there before her brother entered to elementary school.

When I leave the kindergarten, she rarely cries. So, I thought that she was used to loneliness. By the way she has been alone for more than 1 and a half hour due to corona virus recently for a few days Many parents did not send their children to kindergarten in the wake of covid 19 outbreak.

I could not help but sending daughter to kindergarten cause nobody could not take care of her while I and my wife were working. Unfortunately I and my wife could not call parent to help us. Because they are living far away from us.

Even outbreak arose, I could not help but relying on kindergarten and thankfully my daughter did not complain at all when she stayed there alone. I thought that she became strong and grew up to be able to endure the loneliness.

When I woke up my daughter in the morning one day, she begun to whine. I thought that it was just nothing but a tamper tantrum of children. I told her to stop crying and to go to kindergarten quickly. But she did not stop and kept crying. She was getting on my nerves.

"Don't cry, why do you make me angry? don't be so horrid to me I am busy. "

She did not stop and I could not tamp down my angry her. I was very stressful and was afraid of going to work late.

At last she told with tears fully in her eyes.

"I have no friends in the kindergarten, I am alone until friends come."

I was quite shocked at the moment as if my head was hit by big hammer and I acknowledged my mistake. I have not tried to understand how much lonely she had felt in the morning when she had been alone. She is just 4 years old and she did not grow up enough to endure loneliness patiently. I have wanted for her to get through that situation alone.

I have been very stressful of leaving my daughter to the kindergarten and to get to work on time. But the trouble that I encounter have been prioritized before the loneliness my daughter may confront after I leave her to kindergarten. She should spend 1 and a half hour alone. Although she is with her teacher during that time, the teacher could not be her friend and toys surrounding her could not comfort her emotion.

It was a heartfelt sorriness to her and reflected on my behavior.

I knelt down to her and told her,

"I am very sorry to make you alone. I truley love you."

I gave her a hug and kissed on her face with my full heart.

I know that my a few words could not heal her loneliness but I tried to give my love heartily to her. I should leave her to kindergarten tomorrow too, she is going to stay there alone for 1 and a half hour. There is no solution to save her from loneliness until she graduates, but I am going to try to treat her understanding her feeling of being lonely as a father.