Our bodies sense life essences

Finding 'Golden Mean' in life

Ever since I returned to Korea last month,
I haven't been feeling well.

Initially, I chalked it up to jet lag or skipping my daily yoga routine. But my health spiraled downward like a stock crash, day by day. Attempting some home yoga, I barely made it through 30 minutes before feeling a sharp pain in my rib, leaving me unable to sit properly for days. Increased screen time brought on a creeping neck disc issue. My concentration plummeted, making tasks take twice or thrice as long, and my body creaked like an unused bike. With the sun playing hide and seek, natural healing was almost out of the question.

I've got sick again as soon as I sent off my French friend at the airport 

Then, last week, after helping my French friend, who had worked in Korea for five years, prepare to return home, my health took a nosedive. I hadn't caught a cold since moving to Giheung, but suddenly, every cold symptom seemed to find me, from coughs to body aches. Headaches made simple family discussions a struggle, and on video call days, Tylenol and Vitamin C were must-haves. I usually avoid medication, taking Tylenol maybe three times a year, but in the past two weeks, I've taken five.

I've taken five pills of pain-killer for last two weeks!

After two weeks of this, I'm now starting to feel "okay." Far from the lightness I felt in Malaga, but at least going to the kitchen for water isn't a debate. Headaches are less frequent unless it's a major issue, and I'm not constantly chilly. Sitting here and doing deep breaths isn't too uncomfortable. Mid-40s me thinking this state is "okay" seems off.

The past three months have been a rollercoaster of feeling "good" and "bad" – an understatement for the heaven and hell I've experienced. Light as a bird in Malaga for a month, and like a waterlogged sponge in Paris and Korea for two. Days in sunny Malaga felt like gifts while cloudy days elsewhere felt like challenges.

In Malaga, I everyday walked, ran, jumpled, talked, and smiled just like a kid.

One common thread prevailed:
life became simpler.

In Malaga, all I needed was a fresh meal, the sun, the sea, family (and colleagues), and a warm bedroom. It was similar in Korea: a homemade meal, the sun, family (friends and Été), a blue sky, and a warm home. 

A lot of non-essentials such as unnecessary dopamine triggers online, ads for books I felt I should read, degrees for career advancement, unrelated performances/exhibitions/movies, closets full of clothes, unused gadgets, messenger avatars, credit card points, and conversations or comments from detractors... In both paradise and hell, my interest in those non-essentials naturally waned.

It was a daily happiness to have a simple and quiet lunch at the terrace.

What's the essence here?
Will this affect my life in 20 years?

My environment hasn't changed, but how I view it has after my recovery. I now ask, "What's the essence here?" or "Will this affect my life in 20 years?" Helping someone out of the blue becomes easy when I consider the essence of the act. Planning a non-profitable program, I regain energy thinking about its long-term impact on my life. Dealing with defensive or exploitative people, a moment's thought on the essence calms me, leading to less engagement or at least no hurtful words.

It's just the beginning, and I'm still learning to discern the essential from the not. But having such a standard feels like the essence of a happy life. I'm no longer nitpicky over trivial matters or a cause for others' concern. After all, the essence of life is 'connection' not 'separation.'

We failed to take a nice photo, but the essnece is not the photo, but being together.

It makes me wonder why this year
I've experienced up and down of wellness.

Applying Aristotle and Confucius's "Golden Mean" suggests, it might be time to gently shift the life I've been unknowingly overworking my body and mind for. Perhaps these intense experiences of wellness heaven and hell were meant for a big realization.

I've got two private Yoga lessons for my last week. Look at the two women on the side walk

I plan to return to Malaga this winter
for another well-being workation. 

Minimizing work without stopping altogether (workation) to focus on my essential health and happiness (wellbeing). This "Well-being" has become a higher priority than "Wealth" for me in my mid-40s. Next, I aim to simplify my experiences in Malaga further, unifying the program's values around "well-being," not only for others, but for myself.

My french family had a 2-week winter vacation while I was staying in Malaga.

With six months to next winter, I'd love to discuss essential happiness, body, and mind wellness with anyone interested. Feel free to message or comment. I'm open to advice and criticism. I no longer want my happiness to depend on others' behavior nor how they judge me. I'd rather find happiness within myself. (Saying this, tears come to my eyes. Perhaps this is the life I've always wanted to live.)

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