[한영 초단편] #09 매일 완벽한 베니타
빠른 읽기와 듣기를 위한 교재
Intro
베니타가 일하는 도서관에는 모든 것이 제 자리에 있었습니다. 하지만 그녀의 집은 정리되지 않았습니다. 남편 롭은 느긋한 태도를 보여 베니타가 점점 더 잔소리를 하게 되었습니다.
초단편 한영 소설은 빠른 영어 읽기 연습을 위해 만들어졌습니다.
한글 내용 다음에는 초급, 초중급, 중급 레벨 순서로 영어 내용이 제공됩니다.
다음의 세 가지를 염두에 두고 빨리 읽기가 가능한 난이도까지 읽어보세요.
조금 천천히 말하기는 속도와 비슷한 속도로 읽으면서 문장의 전체적인 의미를 이해합니다.
첫째, 머릿속에서 한글로 번역하지 말고, 주어 - 동사 구분 같은 문장 분석하지 않기
둘째, 처음부터 끝까지 한 방향으로 읽어나가며 사전 찾으면서 흐름 끊지 않기
셋째, 쉬운 문장부터 머릿속에 이미지를 그리면서 영어 문장을 빠르게 읽기
이러한 리딩 방식을 생각하게 된 이론적 배경 설명은 아래와 같습니다.
저도 지금 같은 내용으로 초급 레벨의 일본어 내용으로 듣기와 말하기를 연습하고 있습니다.
리스닝을 위해 빠른 리딩이 필요한 이유
https://brunch.co.kr/@rhino00/27
책 "크라센의 읽기 혁명"에서 강조한 다독
https://brunch.co.kr/@rhino00/34
문장을 분석하는 공부하는 방법의 장단점
https://brunch.co.kr/@rhino00/36
한글 - 내용을 이미지로 머리에 그리면서 읽어보세요
한글 내용은 영어 중급 레벨 내용입니다.
[매일 완벽한 베니타]
베니타는 도서관에서 사서로 일한다. 오전 8시 30분에 출근하고, 오후 5시 30분에 퇴근한다. 매일 오전 9시까지는 밤새 반납된 책을 정리하며 도서관 오픈을 준비한다. 오후 5시 운영 종료 후, 사람들이 나가고 나서 정리를 끝내면 도서관은 완벽해진다. 매일 완벽하게 정리되는 도서관, 베니타는 이 일을 좋아한다. 매일 하루도 빠짐없이 종류별로 일련 번호 하나 흐트러지지 않게 책이 정리된 것을 보면 기분이 좋아진다. 그녀는 이 질서정연함을 정말 좋아한다.
하지만, 집은 그렇지 않았다. 베니타는 6시 정도에 집에 도착한다. 그녀의 남편 롭은 미술교사이다. 그녀가 집에 오면 그는 요리를 하거나, 그림을 그리거나 , 책을 심취해서 읽는 등 항상 무언가를 하고 있다. 고 있기도 한다. 집이 항상 정돈되어 있지 않다.
수년에 걸쳐 그들의 관계는 여러 면에서 변했지만, 한 가지는 변하지 않았다. 바로 베니타의 끊임없는 잔소리였다. 처음에는 부드러운 말투로 시작되었다. "롭, 붓을 씻어서 치워두는 것을 잊지 마세요." 또는 "제발, 책을 식탁 위에 두지 마세요." 처음에 롭은 생활 공간을 깔끔하게 유지하려는 베니타의 노력을 높이 평가했다.
그러나 베니타의 잔소리를 집안일에만 점점 국한되지 않고 점점 범위가 넓어졌다. 시간이 지남에 따라 일상생활의 모든 면에 잔소리가 스며들기 시작했다. 게다가, 말투는 점점 더 신경질적으로 변했다. "밖에 나갈 때 불을 다 껐어?" "책을 읽을 때 안경 쓰는 것을 잊지 마." "커피 너무 많이 마. 밤에 잠 못 자." "미술 이젠 스탠드 주변은 왜 항상 어질러져 있어? 정리 좀 해."
시간이 지날수록 베니타의 잔소리는 그들의 일상생활의 모든 면에 스며들기 시작했다. 롭은 쏟아지는 잔소리에 압박감을 느꼈다. 점점 롭도 베니타의 잔소리에 화를 내며 대응하기 시작하였다. 둘의 대화의 대부분이 언쟁들로 채워졌다. 둘다 은 집이 점점 지옥같이 변해간다고 느꼈다. 롭은 베니타의 끊임없는 불평에 지쳤고, 베니타는 그가 변하지 않는 것에 화가 났다.
그들은 도움을 구하기로 결정하고 부부 상담을 위해 스티븐스 박사를 만나러갔습니다. 두 시간 동안 그 이야기를 들은 후 Dr. Stevens는 이렇게 말했습니다.
"롭, 우선 베니타와의 관계를 개선하기 위해서는 작은 변화라 할지라도 약간의 변화를 보여줘야 합니다. 매일 베니타가 말하는 것을 고려하고 행동으로 보여주도록 노력하세요."
"그리고 베니타, 당신은 마음 속 깊은 곳에서 불안과 강박적인 감정을 갖고 있습니다. 이것이 당신이 잔소리를 하는 이유입니다.
그리고, 잔소리의 원인은…” 스티븐슨은 잠시 말을 멈추었다. “좀 더 상담을 해봐야 알겠지만, 지금까지 상담 내용으로 볼 때 원인은 어머니와의 관계에서 비롯된 거 같아요.”
스티븐슨 박사의 설명에 따르면, 베니타의 어머니는 어릴 때부터 베니타에게 여성이 어떠해야 하는지에 대해 자주 말했다.
"네 오빠는 그렇게 할 수 있지만 너는 달라."
오빠 존에게는 허용되는 행동이나 선택이 베니타에게는 허용되지 않는 것이 많았다.
"가장에도 충실해야 하니까 안정적인 직업을 선택해야 해."
어머니는 항상 사회적인 성취보다는 결혼 후 직장을 다니면서도 가정을 잘 꾸려나가는 한다고 말했다. 그러나, 전업주부였던 어머니 본인은 그렇게 하지 못했다.
가장 나쁜 점은 어머니가 말하는 여성은 이래야 한다는 의견이 자주 바뀌었다. 남의 말이라고 하면서 자신의 생각을 말하기도 했다. 그럴 때마다 베니타의 마음은 밀고 당겨졌다. 밖으로 내몰기도 하고 울타리에 가두어지기도 했다.
“베니타, 지금 당신은 직장과 집 어디에서도 편안하지 못해요. 항상 불안하고 쉬지 못하고, 머리속에는 무언가를 해야한다는 강박감에 사로잡혀 있어요. 그래서, 지저분한 것을 참지 못해요.”
스티븐스은 베니타에게 계속 말을 이어나갔다.
“베니타, 지금 어머니에 대한 마음은 어떤가요? 당신에게 어머니는 보이지 않는 감시자인가요? 아니면 자신을 증명하고 인정받고 싶은 사람? 혹시 어머니를 원망하고 있나요? “
베니타는 말문이 막혔다. 그녀의 마음 속에는 어머니에 대한 오래된 분노와 원한이 솟아올랐습니다.
“잔소리의 원인은 불안과 강박이에요. 그리고, 일방적인 의사소통 방식이에요. 매우 파괴적 일 수 있어요. 가까운 사람과의 관계를 망치게 할 수도 있어요. 자, 오늘 여기서 마치겠습니다. 다음 주에 봅시다.”
집으로 돌아와서, 베니타은 주방에서 차를 커피를 내리면서 롭을 바라보았다.
롭은 미소 지으며 말했다. "오늘 상담에 대해 어떻게 생각해?"
베니타은 천천히 말했다. " 생각보다 의미있는 시간이었다. 어머니와 나 사이에 대해 얘기가 많이 나와서 조금 놀랐어."
Rob은 어색하게 웃으며 조심스럽게 물었다. "항상 어머니의 기대에 부응하려고 노력했어?"
베니타는 침묵을 지켰다. 롭은 다시 물었다. "너에게 강요한 건가?"
베니타은 고개를 저었다. "아니야. 사회가 기대하는 것과 바라는 것이 무엇인지 알려주려고 했을 뿐이야. 그런데 늘 바뀌는 것 같았어.그저 사회가 원하는 것, 나도 어머니도 어떤 것이 정말 맞는 것인지 잘 몰랐을거야. 인생에 정답이 없으니까."
둘은 잠시 침묵했다. 롭이 다가와 베니타의 손을 잡았다. "베니타, 너의 걱정과 염려가 과도하게 느껴질 때도 있어. 하지만 나 오늘 조금 이해하게 됐어. 나도 달라지려고 노력해볼게"
베니타은 미소 지었다. "고마워, 롭. 나도 마음속에서 불안을 어떻게 컨트롤 할 수 있을지 고민해볼게. 아, 그리고 이번 주말에는 어머니를 만나러 가야겠어. 오랫만에 둘이서 진짜 대화를 해봐야할거 같아."
베니타는 이제 식탁 위에 롭이 읽고 있던 책과 거실 한쪽구석에 어질러져 있는 미술도구들을 편안한 눈으로 볼 수 있을 거 같았다.
다음은 초급, 초중급, 중급 레벨의 영어입니다.
단어를 찾지 말고 그 의미를 유추하면서, 문장 분석을 하지 말고 쭉 읽어 내려가세요.
영어 - 초급
[ Every Day, Perfect Benita ]
Benita works in a library. She starts at 8:30 a.m. and finishes at 5:30 p.m. Every morning, she cleans the library. She puts books back. Benita loves her job.
But home is different. She comes home at 6 p.m. Her husband, Rob, teaches art. When she comes home, he's busy. He is cooking or painting. The house is messy.
Benita asks Rob to clean up. She says, "Rob, please clean," and "Don't leave things on the table." At first, Rob listens to her.
But Benita keeps talking. She sounds mad. "Did you forget the lights?", "Put on your glasses.", "Please clean your painting stuff."
Rob feels sad. They fight a lot. They are not happy. They need to talk to someone.
They go to Dr. Stevens. They talk. Dr. Stevens says,
"Rob, clean more. Listen to Benita."
"Benita, you worry too much. That's why you talk to Rob like that. Maybe your mom is the reason."
Dr. Stevens talks about what Benita's mom used to say.
"Girls don't do this, but boys do."
Her brother, John, did things Benita didn't.
"Women need good jobs. But they care for the house, too."
Benita's mom said this, but she stayed at home.
Benita felt bad. Her mom's words changed. Sometimes, Benita felt lost.
“Benita, you're not comfortable. You always worry. You think you always have to do something. That's why you don't like mess.”
Dr. Stevens says more.
“Benita, how do you feel about your mom? Do you want to show her you're a good girl? Are you mad at her?”
Benita doesn't talk. She remembers being mad at her mom.
“You nag because you're scared. It's not good. It makes things bad with others. Let's talk more next week.”
At home, Benita makes coffee. She looks at Rob.
Rob asks, "How was it?"
Benita says, "We talked about my mom. I was surprised."
Rob asks, "Did you want to make your mom happy?"
Benita nods. Rob says, "Did she tell you things a lot?"
Benita says, "Yes. She wanted me to be right. But it changed a lot. It was hard."
They don't talk. Rob holds Benita's hand.
"I get it, Benita. I'll try more."
Benita smiles, "Thanks, Rob. I'll try too. Let's see my mom this weekend."
Benita feels good. She looks at Rob's book and paints and feels good.
영어 - 초중급
[ Every Day, Perfect Benita ]
Benita works in a library. She gets to work at 8:30 a.m. and gets off at 5:30 p.m. Every morning, she makes the library neat. She puts books back and cleans up. Benita likes this job a lot.
But home is different. She comes home at 6 p.m. Her husband, Rob, is an art teacher. He's always busy when she comes home - cooking or painting. The house is very often messy.
For a long time, Benita has asked Rob to be tidy. At first, she said kindly. "Rob, please clean up," or "I think it's better not to leave your things on the table." At first, Rob respects her words.
But, Benita began to nag more and more. Her voice sounded angry. "Did you turn off the lights when you went out?", "You should wear your glasses when reading.", "Clean your painting area!"
After a while, Rob started to get upset. They argued a lot. Both felt unhappy. They needed help.
So, they went to Dr. Stevens. He talked with them for two hours and then said,
"Rob, you should try to clean up more at home and really listen to what Benita is saying."
"Benita, you always worry a lot. That's why you nag Rob so much. I think that your mom made you so sensitive."
According to Dr. Stevens, Benita's mother always told her how a girl should be when she was young.
"Your brother can do that, but you are different."
There were many things John, her brother, could do but not Benita.
"You should pick a stable job because you have to take care of your home."
Her mother always said girls should look after their home and have a job. But, her mother, who was houeswife, didn't do that.
The hardest thing was that her mother's words about the standard were changing. Sometimes, she said her thoughts as if others thought. Benita always felt pushed and pulled, like she was being pushed out or trapped.
“Benita, you don't feel comfortable at work or home now. You always feel worried and can't rest. You always think you have to do something. That's why you don't like mess.”
Dr. Stevens kept talking.
“Benita, how do you feel about your mom now? Is your mom like a silent watcher? Or someone you want to show you are good? Do you feel angry with her?”
Benita couldn't speak. She remembered feeling angry at her mom.
“The reason you nag is because you're worried and can't stop. Nagging is a one-way talk. It can be harmful. It can hurt close relationships. Okay, let's stop here today. See you next week.”
At home, Benita made coffee. She looked at Rob.
Rob smiled and said, "How was your talk today?"
Benita said slowly, "It was good. We talked a lot about my mom. I was surprised."
Rob looked a bit nervous and asked, "Did you always try to make your mom satisfy?"
Benita was quiet. Rob asked again, "Did she ask you what to do a lot?"
Benita shook her head, "No. She just wanted to show me the right way. But it changed frequently. I think both of us didn’t know what is right."
They sat in silence. Rob came closer and held her hand.
"I understand you better now, Benita. I'll try to change too."
Benita smiled and said, "Thanks, Rob. I'll think about how to feel better inside. And we should visit my mom this weekend. We need to talk."
Now, Benita felt relaxed. She looked at Rob's book on the table and the art stuff in the corner and didn’t mind."
영어 - 중급
[ Every Day, Perfect Benita ]
Benita works as a librarian in a library. She gets to work at 8:30 a.m. and gets off at 5:30 p.m. Every morning, she gets ready for the library's opening by organizing books that were returned overnight. By 5 p.m., after cleaning up after the visitors, the library looks perfect. Benita loves this. She feels happy seeing books sorted perfectly every single day. She really enjoys this order and neatness.
However, at home, it's a different story. She arrives around 6 p.m. Her husband, Rob, is an art teacher. He's always doing something when she gets home - cooking, painting, or deeply reading a book. The house isn't always tidy.
Over the years, their relationship has changed in many ways, but one thing has stayed the same: Benita's endless nagging. It beginned with a gentle tone, "Rob, don't forget to clean and put away your brushes." or "Please, don't leave your books on the dining table." At first, Rob appreciated Benita's efforts to keep their living space tidy.
However, Benita's nagging was not limited to housework, but gradually expanded in scope. Moreover, her tone became more irritated. "Did you switch off all the lights when you went out?", "Don't forget to wear your glasses when you read.", "Don't drink too much coffee; you can't sleep.", "Why is the area around your easel stand always messy? Tidy it up!"
Over time, Benita's nagging started to affect every part of their daily lives. Rob felt overwhelmed by it. Increasingly, he responded with anger. Most of their conversations turned into arguments. Both felt their home was becoming like hell. Rob was tired of Benita's endless complaints, and she was upset that he wouldn't change.
They decided to seek help and went to see Dr. Stevens for couples counseling. After listening to them for two hours, Dr. Stevens said,
"Rob, first off, you need to show some changes, even if they are small, to improve your relationship with Benita. Every day, try to take into account what Benita says and show it through your actions."
"And Benita, deep down, you have anxiety and compulsive feelings. These are the reasons you nag. And the root of your nagging…" Stephenson paused for a moment. "We might need more talk to understand fully, but from our talks so far, it seems to come from your relationship with your mother."
According to Dr. Stephenson's explanation, Benita's mother often told her from a young age how a woman should be.
"Your brother can do that, but you're different."
Many things were allowed for her brother, John, but not for Benita.
"You need to choose a steady job because you need to be devoted to your family."
Her mother always emphasized looking after the household even while working rather than social achievements. However, her mother, who was a stay-at-home mom, couldn't do that herself.
The worst part was that her mother's opinion about how a woman should be changed frequently. She sometimes expressed others' thoughts as her own. Every time she did, Benita felt pushed and pulled, sometimes pushed out and other times confined.
"Benita, now you don't feel at ease either at work or at home. You're always anxious and restless, constantly feeling the need to do something. That's why you can't stand messiness."
Dr. Stephenson continued talking to Benita.
"Benita, how do you feel for your mother now? Is your mother an invisible watchdog to you? Or someone you want to prove yourself to and gain recognition from? Do you, by any chance, harbor any resentment towards her?"
Benita was speechless. Old feelings of anger and resentment towards her mother bubbled up in her mind.
"The reason for the nagging is anxiety and compulsion. And it's a one-sided way of communicating. It can be very destructive. It can ruin close relationships. Okay, let's end today's session here. See you next week."
Back home, as Benita was making coffee in the kitchen, she looked at Rob.
Rob smiled and asked, "What did you think of today's counseling?"
Benita replied slowly, "It was more meaningful than I thought. I was surprised that a lot came up about my mother and me."
Rob smiled awkwardly and asked carefully, "Did you always try to meet your mother's expectations?"
Benita remained silent. Rob asked again, "Did she force you?"
Benita shook her head, "No. She just tried to guide me on what society expects and what she hoped for. But it seemed to change all the time. Neither my mother nor I really knew what was right. Because there's no exact answer in life."
They were silent for a moment. Rob came closer and held Benita's hand, "I've come to understand a bit today, Benita. I'll try to change too."
Benita smiled, "Thanks, Rob. I'll also think about how I can manage my inner anxiety. Oh, and we should go see my mom this weekend. It feels like we need to have a real conversation after a long time."
Benita felt she could now look at the book Rob was reading on the table and the art supplies scattered in the corner of the living room with a more relaxed eye.
영어 단어 정리
librarian - 도서관 사서
get ready - 준비하다
organizing - 정리하다
tidy - 깔끔한
nagging - 잔소리
art teacher - 미술 선생님
deeply reading - 심취해서 읽다
overwhelmed - 압도되다
counseling - 상담
anxiety - 불안
compulsive feelings - 강박 감정
relationship with your mother - 어머니와의 관계
stay-at-home mom - 전업 주부
resentment - 원망
speechless - 말을 잃다
destructive - 파괴적인
making coffee - 커피를 만들다
expectations - 기대치
guide - 지도하다
inner anxiety - 내면의 불안
deep down - 본래의, 깊은 속에서
over the years - 수년 동안
switch off - 끄다
felt overwhelmed - 압도적으로 느껴졌다
turned into arguments - 싸움이 되다
take into account - 고려하다
pushed and pulled - 왔다갔다 하다
stand messiness - 뒤죽박죽을 견디다
harbor any resentment - 원망을 품다
bubble up - 솟구치다, 끓어오르다
come to understand - 이해하게 되다
