How do you think North Korea’s

action has affected South Korea?

Today’s Topic

How do you think North Korea’s action has affected South Korea?

1. 내가 쓴 글.

I don't think any North Korea's action has affected South Korea. The reason why I think as the above is that I know well how poor North Korea is. Any action of North Korea to our country seems just a showing to get more something from us. How can those country still exist in the earth? How they worship Kim Jung-Eun so much? I don't understand that kind of country still exist in the world. Whatever they do, it looks ridiculus, so I always ignore it. My father, who was just 19 years old and the second generation only son in his family, moved to South Korea alone by himself only with some rice. His parents said to him to hide until North Korean disappeared from his land, and it would be just one month. However, it became his final meeting with his parents, because of DMZ, which changed from South Korea to North Korea all of a sudden. He couldn't go to his home from that time for ever. My father missed his parents and his hometown so much. Therefore, I hate North Korea. My father had to survive here in Seoul alone, and he did.

2. 첨삭되어 온 글.

I don't think any North Korea's action has affected South Korea. The reason why I think as the above(that way) is that I know well how poor North Korea is. Any action of North Korea to our country seems just a(like) showing to get more something from us. How can those country still exist in the(on) earth? How (do) they worship Kim Jung-Eun so much? I don't understand that kind of country still exist(s) in the world. Whatever they do, it looks ridicul(o)us, so I always ignore it.

My father, who was just 19 years old and the second generation only son in his family, moved to South Korea alone by himself only with some rice. His parents said to him to hide until North Korean disappeared from his land, and it would be just one month. However, it became his final meeting with his parents, because of DMZ, which changed from South Korea to North Korea all of a sudden. He couldn't go to his home from that time forever. My father missed his parents and his hometown so much. Therefore, I hate North Korea. My father had to survive here in Seoul alone, and he did.

3. 내가 기억해야 할 것들.

The reason why I think as the above(that way) is that I know well how poor North Korea is.

1. 아하. 그런 식으로 생각한 이유는... 그럴 때 꼭 as the above가 아니라 그런 식 즉 that way로 써주는 게 더 좋구나. The reason why I think that way is that I know well how poor North Korea is.

Any action of North Korea to our country seems just a(like) showing to get more something from us.

2. 꼭 모모 하는 것처럼 보인다에 just만 쓸 게 아니라 just like를 써주자. seems가 있으니까 like는 안 써도 될 줄 알았는데 seems just like... 요렇게 써줘야 하는구나.... seems just like showing to get more something...

How can those country still exist in the(on) earth?

3. in the earth 가 아니라 on earth 기억하자. 지구상에 on earth... How can those country still exist on earth?

How (do) they worship Kim Jung-Eun so much?

4. 그렇지. How do you do? 가 있듯이 조동사를 써줘야지. How do they sorship Kim Jung-Eun so much?

I don't understand that kind of country still exist(s) in the world.

5. 3인칭 단수면 동사에 s를 붙여야지. 요 간단한 걸 틀리다니. 부주의결과다. 항상 신경 쓰자. I don't understand that kind of country still exists in the world.

Whatever they do, it looks ridicul(o)us, so I always ignore it.

6. 스펠링이 어려운 단어다. 기억하자. ridiculous ridiculous... Whatever they do, it looks ridiculous, so I always ignore it.

4. 그리고 딸려온 멘트.

Greetings!

Commendations on submitting a persuasive essay. You were able to successfully convey your thoughts regarding the topic. We highly value your composition since it shows your great effort in expressing your views about the topic. Stay the course.

Have a good day!

오홋. 드디어 칭찬을 받았다. 빨간 첨삭도 많이 줄었다. 요 상태로 고우고우! 하하

5. 첨삭받은 대로 고쳐 쓴 글.

I don't think any North Korea's action has affected South Korea. The reason why I think that way is that I know well how poor North Korea is. Any action of North Korea to our country seems just like showing to get more something from us. How can those country still exist on earth? How do they worship Kim Jung-Eun so much? I don't understand that kind of country still exists in the world. Whatever they do, it looks ridiculous, so I always ignore it.

My father, who was just 19 years old and the second generation only son in his family, moved to South Korea alone by himself only with some rice. His parents said to him to hide until North Korean disappeared from his land, and it would be just one month. However, it became his final meeting with his parents, because of DMZ, which changed from South Korea to North Korea all of a sudden. He couldn't go to his home from that time forever. My father missed his parents and his hometown so much. Therefore, I hate North Korea. My father had to survive here in Seoul alone, and he did.

(사진: 꽃 뜰)