Embrace who you are

Use your uniqueness to your advantage

Being seen as Korean, or broadly Asian, was something I felt uncomfortable with. After all, I never felt belonged to the typical Korean culture, so I have been living abroad for 12 years. Being seen as one but not feeling like one was a constant query and perhaps a long journey to understand my own identity. 2020 triggered me. I got into the world of BTS and K-drama. Black Lives Matter and Asian hate were on the media. It made me question if I should say something about the Korean side of my identity.

It took longer till I came to realize how my Korean side and me being a Korean female have influenced me greatly in workplaces and in my professional interactions. I heard a talk about bias against women in the workplace and noticed the stat indicating Asian women are typically not seen as having leadership. I also read that I should watch out when being “modest”, “sharing the credit” or “being indirect” because it can be seen as a sign of weakness. How astounding the stories were.

Really? I first thought. I certainly have a philosophy of leadership and I live by it (most of the time, I am learning). I felt I should say something about “my kind of people” — a Korean woman working in a global environment, an Asian woman in a leadership position. I realized the power. I could influence to change the stereotypes. Make you see that Asian women are not like how you think they are.

Diversity is often talked about as the new way to create a corporate culture and employee engagement. The real difficulty is that companies struggle to step back from their own company culture and consider someone different, especially for leadership positions. We see how women are not taking the seats despite the years of diversity trends. Without taking a “risk”, it probably is hard to let go of the existing success formula about the type of people one wants to hire and put in charge. It may be a matter of time and seeing proof.

I was aware that to you, I am the one with my Asian face and that came with a tag. Hardworking, disciplined, soft-spoken, not showing emotion, task-oriented, does not have an opinion, etc. I heard some of these comments at least once in my professional life. So, early in my global career, I wanted to be extra opinionated and speak my mind and express how I feel. I wanted to prove that my ethnic and cultural background is atypical, and be seen as just as one of the mainstream employees around me. Sometimes they were Europeans, sometimes they were men, and sometimes they were machos elbowing each other. That way, I never really felt my Korean side and I was not connected to the culture I was brought up in.

But then again, 2020 happened. More time at home to reflect and read (instead of constantly traveling and blending into the local life, which I love doing). Then here I am. Realizing all those years how my forceful act probably made me a confusing character. Was I simply denying my Korean side while undoubtedly carrying out the Korean side?

Asian women are seen as obedient, hiding what they think, quiet, passive, and generally not fit for leadership roles in global companies. Think about your CEO. Then think about an Asian women’s image you have in mind. What quality can you call out that the two shares?

But the truth is what I noted above is nothing like the women I see in my home country or any Asian women I met working in many different countries in the world. I don’t want to complain about the stereotype — it is a reality. It is your loss to close your eyes and be negatively biased.

But I want to tell everyone who sees themselves as Asian women not to conform to that mold to feel less estranged, or to fit in. Instead, see all the positive features and attributes you have and use that great quality to your benefit.

I am more than ever understanding how my childhood and upbringing shaped me into who I am, even at the workplace. I am respectful. I am caring. I am thoughtful. I am disciplined. I am efficient. I am discerning. I am pursuing the best. I am passionate. I am curious. I am all about the betterment of myself and others. I am expressive of my opinions and feelings. I am future-oriented. I am very clear about my goals and know how to get them. I am very communicative about the future I want to achieve and can get you along. In fact, all the qualities I described are stemming from my Korean upbringing. And there’s more because I have had a global career and education. I can use the Korean side with western qualities and have been able to influence my work and pursue my own business in Europe. I am the new kind of Asian, female, leader.

So think about your uniqueness. What makes you who you are? What were the moments that shaped you? What values do you care about? And finally, how could you use that for the job you hold today or the conflict you have? The power is not conforming, blending in, or blurring your roots. The power is in fully understanding who you are, and embracing everything and every bit about yourself. Then you can see the others, where they come from, and how to get the best out of your interaction with someone who may even see you in the eyes of orientalism.